Back home now from a good nights work which began at the 6er and finished at the gym, I'm feeling a little depressed wondering if there's anything that can make life a little more fulfilling. I think it's more boredom though considering I haven't really done much with myself for a few weeks now. 'Relaxing' on the holidays just doesn't seem to cut it really.
I searched pretty much 'how to make life more fulfilling' and through the many pages that came up, I found the answer summed up in a Nickleback song. I guess its not so much an answer, but it did stir up some brain jigglies. Yes I hear the moans and groans and I still am clueless as to why so many people hate them but who cares what other people think right?
Hope this helps you find new light. It has for me.
So I decided to have a sleep on the opposite side of the bed last night and had one of the worst nightmares I've had in a long time.
There I was standing near a cliff face, and an argument was going on about something between two girls whom had now been surrounded by a group that formed. I ignored most of what was going on and made my way to the bottom of the cliff (very much like kangaroo point) in which suddenly one of the girls in a laundry basket fell, I tried my hardest to direct her and the basket to the side just before she hit the ground to decrease the momentum but it did very little.
Being too afraid to lift up the basket, I stepped back and in doing so, noticed blood dripping from my face and in my hair, her blood. Still very calm, I made my way back up to where the original argument happened and just as I got there, the other girl jumped.
I woke up scared and still am. Still trying to figure out what it all means, I'm pretty superstitious. Lets see how I go tonight.
After only watching half of the Sandlot kids DVD that Bondy had brought over Friday arvo, I decided to finish it before going to bed that night. I must say I enjoyed it just as much as I did in 2nd grade when we rented it out from the now non-existent block buster down the road; old school VHS for a buck (7 weekly's for seven bucks).
I can't believe that even after so many years, I can still remember most of what happen; mind you, I probably watched that movie at least a hundred times. I remember the first baseball glove dad brought home from the flea market a few weeks later after realizing how much I loved baseball. Growing up in Australia didn't give me much of a chance to really get into it considering most of the neighborhood kids grew up with cricket but I still loved it. I loved it so much that when dad finally did bring home that baseball mitt, I begged and pleaded him to bring home a helmet. When he brought a cricket helmet home, I took off the grills on the front and wore it everywhere.
My sister and I would take turns wearing the mitt while throwing tennis balls at each other. It always gave mum grief when she found our pant knees stained green with little holes in them, (usually from slide practice) but I guess she was more relieved that we didn't have knee grazes stained red (she just didn't see them). I always dreamed to be like Benny back then. I loved baseball and even though I had never played a single game in my entire life, I knew I was good at it. It became life, it wasn't just a game anymore.
Every afternoon after getting home from school I would unpack my bag and take my baseball mitt out. Even though I never played with it when I was at school, it always gave me joy to just put it on and feel it for a few seconds, whenever I missed it. The smell of real leather and the weird smell it put on my hands when I took the glove off are ones I'll remember forever. When I put the glove on, I was Benny.
So when I got home, still in my uniform I pulled her out and put her on. No after school supper, no shower, no nintendo, there was just no time. I'd run out to the back yard to find 'the ball', one of many dozens of tennis ball lying around (the bouncy one with plenty of fur on it) to throw as high as I could in the air and attempt to catch it first go. The majority of the time the ball would land dead straight centre inside the glove, I mean, how hard is it to catch a ball that's thrown straight up in the air. But the days where the ball was let go just a little too late and ended up on the roof or an attempted slide missed the ball upon its contact with a surrounding obstacle, or nothing seemed too right, I would make sure I practiced that little bit harder because I knew if I wanted to be as good as Benny, I couldn't miss any catch.
I remember the day when I trialed for my first softball team at school. Even though it was softball and only minor differences were observed compared to baseball, it was as close as I would get to playing baseball. I had been waiting for so long for the chance to show what my practice had transformed me into. I stepped up to the plate, bat in hand and at full swing I hit my first home run. I did the dummy back to third after attempting to run to home which fooled those who hadn't played the game before. After the many years between then and now, I still cannot think of a time were I actually fulfilled the phrase 'step up to the plate' as much as I did that softball trial.
I remember as I grew older, the passion for baseball slowly died and became more and more a game to me. Although I can't pinpoint the exact time I started to lose interest, I think it was when life started to become a little clearer to me. When you start learning more about the world, it starts to disappoint you. I was no longer Benny when I hopped onto the softball ring with bat in hand because at every base there was another Benny, trying to become the best. Even though I hit a hat trick one game against serviceton state school, my dream was swallowed when we got smashed 30 runs to 1 against the murray school which was coincidentally, the first time I was actually scared to bat.
Although I learned of disappointment early, I guess I understand how important it is to try your hardest at everything you do. And if its not meant to be, then it's not meant to be; and you can at least admit that you tried your best.
Man I miss being young. I need to learn from my old self and get back on track.
Come back and teach me 14 year old Ly :|
Another year has past, and another year has begun and even though it's just another day ticking over to another, I do feel a little different.
This year, I spent my early hours of the new year with close friends up on a mountain watching terrible terrible fireworks. They probably wouldn't have been so bad if we had realized that anything seen from 20 or so kilometers away would look pretty small, no matter where you see them from. But none the less, it was an experience needed and one that we will never do again.
As the clock ticked over to twelve and the fireworks filling the minuscule sky viewed from on top of Mt Cootha, we decided that the fireworks weren't worth a half an hour trip down the mountain stuck behind traffic, so we legged it.
Yelling, well more like screaming loud 'Happppppppp-py New Year!!!' to the few we thought would return one, down the mountain brought tears of laughter to my eyes and made me realize that I stressed way way too much over how old I was getting last year.
We had our first maccas for the year and played games at IPM, what a way to start off the New Year hey.....
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Phuccie popped by over in the morning, not even giving me time to get out of bed to get some pants on (mind you, my laptop was right next to me so there was no real 'urgent' need for it anyway') and we talked fishing for a while. We decided to go have a fish to start the new year as well as begin our 'fishing comp' which ends sometime around July.
We finished the night with Phuccie landing 2 flatties, myself a bream and a half, Quangie a bream and phuccies dead flatty which he got disqualified for and bondy with a donut. We ended the start of our new year with a few games of Hon.
What a way to start the new year, one filled with the things we love to do. Hopefully it will be a good year, it's been a decent start so far.
HAPPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
May it be a year full of fun and enjoyment and one filled with many good memories. Good bye 2009, hello twenty-ten.
