it's great to wake up to the little rays of morning sunlight which burns the little hairs on your face. today i was actually looking forward to doing nothing. mind you, i prepared for my monday lecture by sleeping early and printing out notes until i found out that there was no lecture on.
instead of stumbling around like usual, my head felt clear and refreshed; the 8 or so hours of sleep seemed sufficient (even though 8 seems a little bit too much for my liking). i grabbed a feed and decided to educate my cultural side by watching a few movies molo had lent me.
after finishing 7 pounds which was definately as buzzy as everyone was making it out to be, it seemed as though the little annoying birds outside just wouldn't shut-up. but in an instant of thinking that, i was suprised how i actually noticed them. all the chirping and sounds of wings flapping along with the tunes of insects buzzing filled the air. spring indeed seemed to have come early and for just once, (well in a long time anyways) i listened to the sounds of the outside.
on the verandah i stood looking out towards the tree branches from which the sounds were coming from. the backdrop of the browned paddock grass and the sun just setting seemed to relax me. as i approached the stairs the sound of cola's tail hitting the metal wall stopped me. upside down she lay with four legs in the air, she wiggled her body side to side, something she usually did on her own when her dog dreams had finally ceased. her saggy lips drawn down by gravity showed her teeth and as i slowly sat down beside her, she licked me. the warmth of her sun bathed body and the floor boards felt under me represented much of what winter usually means to me.
as it sat there lost within the dark orangy tinge of the sun setting slightly, hands wet from doggy germs and smelling of an unbrushed mouth of many months, the instant smell of freshly cut grass brought me back. what i found a little strange was that it did not bring me to any memories of the past, nostalgia as people would describe it. it seemed as though i'm passed it now where the appreciation of what i have now seems to be what's keeping me smiling today.
i definately cannot say that the past is forgotten, no-one can, but to get to the point where you can appreciate that the past, is no more than the past than well, i guess life only just starts to begin. (unless your that lucky bastard where the past has not left you, yet).
staring at the poster i bought 3 years ago in nzed, lost within it's orangy tinge of sun setting slightly, i no longer reminisc of the time i was so eager, so motivated, so determined-
"it is not the position in which you stand, but the direction in which you look."
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