The coldness of the winter has put a slightly more lonesome feeling in the air these days. Most of my deepest emotional memories stemmed from previous chilly winters so maybe that's got something to do with it. With the majority of the fellas still busting their brains to endure the last of their exams, this may have also been a contribution to the loneliness. The first week of the holidays passed by with catch up work and gym. Work has been great and gym as been awesome. Life to be honest couldn't be much better but then again I'm usually on a high during the colder months. The crisp winter air and clear cloudless blue and black starry skies of the days and nights respectively, to me, portrays what winter really should be like.
I love the feeling of being on top of a cold bed under a woolen blanket before the bed gets warm. I am never bothered to put on socks unless I'm already wearing them so the stretching of tracky dacks (or the sacrifice for bum warmth) usually presents some warmness for the little digits.
Along with the warm and cosy experience of winter that keeps me even warmer and fuzzier inside, I feel that most people seem less stressed and less irritated in general. Winter to me feels like the season of love, where it feels awesome to be around loved ones and even the thought of being with someone brings warmth into the insides.
I've made sure to make the most out of these winter holidays (If only our Christmas break were around winter, it'd make it even better). Finishing up about a week and a half ago, I've realised that it is only now that the guys and girls are finally catching up to completing exams themselves. I maintained a 106.7 after the week or so of cramming every night on the Maltesers and Micky D Mcnuggets so i guess all I've really done is changed the ratio between fat and muscle. It was definitely felt when i tried pushing 32.5 with much effort after doing 8 on 40kg dumbbells only a week or so before. But I've upped the cardio in response and hit the work hole up a few more days a week to get the muscles back to remembering what weight they used to do. I'm slowly getting my to do list things from years back done now and its kind of sad knowing how long half the things on that list had dragged out to.
I hit the wreckers to finally complete the jigsaw that was my car. After a solid effort I got to obtain an air con bracket off of a donor Honda accord, I seriously cannot wait to have air con again; now time to actually install the thing...its on my to do.
Ive been pretty content this past week or so. Actually, its probably more on the side of actual happiness to be honest. There have been a few things which have ticked me off lately but seemed to passed by pretty unnoticed hey. Phuccies' advice is to always see the bad days or weeks out and make sure that the next are better; I have bad hours now. Life has been very good to me but then again, its probably just how I've dealt with it lately. There have been other aspects of life which have been going in a better direction these days although I think it was only one thing that kicked it all off. I don't like to think that one single significant other has changed my thoughts about the majority of things in life but it definitely has had an effect.
Every time I'm online its her face book that I look at, not so much as to read her comments but just so i could see her. I made sure I attended every tutorial this year, not just for the fact that it was compulsory (I've skipped them before) but for the possibility of glancing over in a random moment to have her glance back at me. Obsessed you may think but to me even a slight smile from a random person can cheer up my day; let alone a glance from one whom was part of my history. I guess this is just another story to add to the woeful collection of broken love that encompasses my life, sarcasm? Its such a sad answer, no.
Life two weeks since the beginning of this post (its taken me that long to get here since I post whenever I can by adding bits and pieces on my phone) seems much more complicated than the once aforementioned. Today, although I'm fairly content, it was only recently that money problems seemed to have resolved. I'm kind of sick of having negative money every time a bill month comes round but i guess its a real relief once the month is over.
At night I cant even close my eyes without having several things keep them open. I have seemed to be stuck on the thoughts of three different relationships at the moment. The first one describes of actual problems which have arisen through my attempt to fix it. It still puzzles me how a simple gesture to get a friend to come and catch up isn't as appreciated as you'd think. Maybe its just me, maybe out of all the effort its not me that's meant to benefit, but then again, if shes happy, then I guess that's good enough.
TBC
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