so now that i'm finally on the last leg of my journey, having it be all downhill from here, knowing that i might actually quite possibly have some few hours of decent sleep tonight, i've decided to procrastinate on my last dedicated lecture for tonight.
several "thousand" words relating to glaucoma, sleeping disorders and headaches and migranes are barely fitting between the sides of my ear lobes. 'i can touch your ear lobes, and heal your heart' hahahaha. but gee, it's quite terrible how even now i am still able to procrastinate my previous procrastination of study when i know that i have time to just chill.
if i was actually keen enough i'ld probably go for an hour or so of the you-tube but my conscience, that little ly inside my head is fighting hard to get me back on track. man, i hate being lazy, are there any drugs which can be indicated for symptoms of laziness?
i'll research, maybe later.
i find it quite funny that the only period where there is an increase in outflow of blogging posts is during times where i'm the most busiest; during exams. yes, i do have an exam tomorrow, and yes, i am up trying to cram for it.
i actually, as much as i regret to finally subduing to the words said by my little sis that 'i would regret playing dota saturday night/ sunday morning, i actually 'do' regret it now, sort of. i'm taking a good break now considering i've been on my 3rd v tonight (i know, i know, nothing compared to back in the day). i've memorised word for word (and yes, i do also understand the processes and not just the words) 2 lectures and hopefully the next two (which are alot shorter mind you) will just flow as into my head as easily as my eyes stay open,,,hahah good luck ay?
i think i need another v break, i'll be back, hopefully with my heart still beating within my body cavity.
yes, so i asume you have noticed the new layout. i finally bit the bullet and transferred my old school, outdated blog to the new upgraded version of my template. i'm still wondering why i didn't change to the new template a few months back when i decided i would eventually have to. it's soo much easier now, not having to mess around with html to add stuff; old technology used to catch up with the new.
well, that's probably as much of an update as i can think of at the moment. not much else has changed really....
so i've re-read my last post and im still pretty confused.
i think what i was going at was that it's just so hard to let go of the past especially when parts of it are still existent today. not that it's a bad thing or anything don't get me wrong, it's just, days today are always referred back to the days back then. i mean, once you've reached the epitome of awesome once, going back there again isn't all that, well, awesome is it?
when i was brought back in time with one of the songs that shaped my teen years, back back in the day, it just made me realise how much i've held my life together with the old un-sticky pieces of faded tape that was once used to hold together friendships of epic proportions. i guess with most things sticky, once they lose their stickiness, no matter how much you try, its pretty much impossible to restick or even lick those things back on, and even if you do manage to, it's only time till the thing bloody falls back off again.
but i think i need to, well, replace the sticky tape in my life as well as finding other things to stick my life to. i need to make better the friendships i have now and like said with non-sticky pieces of faded tape, replace or get rid of the friendships which were once but now no more (why hold onto old friendships where it seems only one side still gives a crap, a little biased i know).
it's harder said than done, i guess it's just human to hold onto what we can't have.
and the reason is you....
i swear i've done a post similar to this before, but everytime i listen to the bloody song it always brings back memories of old; ones i much much long for. it's pretty true one 'youtube-ilian' pointed out, 'you need not watch the video, just listen to the words' and even so, when i do watch the video, pictures of our young selves are scattered in front of my eyes.
corny captions back then, bring slight sadness today, knowing much of what was, is no more. i can remember of a few particular photos; one of a 70's night where the 5 or so of us are huddled together, afros awide, young, innocent, and another in particular where there is a bottle cap on mikhails forehead.
even with the amateur use of video effects windows media player offered, and the slight off sync of music to picture, it seemed to create some type of,- insurance? maybe a plan which could never be claimed? back then anyway, it seemed to give me a sense of belonging. the video pretty much sumed up all that was us, everything that was us, and maybe a false sense of what was to be the future; a group of mates whom would be together for a long time to come.
it's hard to compare the photo frame which holds a dust covered picture three or so years ago to the one just a few months back. sitting side by side atop my computer shelf, clearly, times have indeed changed much of what used to be. it truly is easy to spot the differences but is it so for what has stayed the same?
for one, the most obvious is that as friends and family can come and go, family always comes back. as much as i'ld still like to hold on to the past memories, i think it might be time to move on; i mean, it really isn't hard to realise that most of what remains now was like that last year, and more so the year before. but maybe i might be thinking in a wrong sense?
im confused now, hopefully i'll be able to figure this out in part 2?
