I'm going to admit again, that I have been an old irritated grumpy, borderline psychotic bastard. Do I feel like I need anti-depressants, probably, but let's just see how I feel after my little break from reality.
Melbourne it is tomorrow, and I've been looking forward to it since April when the missus spontaneously bought us a return ticket, and a 4 night stay out on Swanston. I love her, really, I do, because without her, I wouldn't really have much to look forward to, I definitely wouldn't of felt like going to Melbourne if we hadn't pre-purchased the tickets that's for sure.
The balance problem I've been having really does affect how I view the world. Being in debt, and an unhealthy one that is (one where final notices don't really phase me any more), makes working to get out of it a necessity, rather than working to live life. Living and surviving are completely different, if you haven't really figured out already. If you haven't, you definitely should appreciate what you have right now.
I hate the world, but in all honesty, I hate pretty much everything right now because I'm angry. Having said that, I do go against what I believe and that is, when your angry, it's hard to be positive. I think that's where my whole hate for the world stemmed from; I haven't had the time to not be angry, to sit, think and gather my thoughts. Compare and contrast the good, the bad and the completely absolute ugly of life. But like I said previously, once you're in a rutt, a desperation to get out of it, especially when it becomes a necessity to work, the instance between fight or flight where you have to choose one or the other...Well, that what rules your life.
You either fight to the end, and find your equilibrium, or you fly away to another one. I haven't really figured out which one I'm doing, or will do but everyday I reassure myself that whatever I choose will be the right decision, whether it be a good one or a bad one. The right one is the one you don't regret.
I will enjoy the next couple of days in paradise, in hope that it will bring me back to paradise once I get back home. I will be an example for your kids. The example of where hard work will bring you, just wait for me to complete my course, then you'll all see.
0 comments:
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
