Yeah yeah, roll your eyes. Here comes a new years resolution post you might be thinking. Sure, you are probably half right but seriously, from half completed Blog posts, to sitting around waiting for my next shift at the pharmacy to start, I feel like I should be a little more proactive. And what a better way to do that, than to propose it for the new year, which starts in just short of 12 hours.
What a year it has been. Seriously. This time last year, I was ass to the grass, swamped in so much shit that I really didn't think I was going to make it out. But I did, and I adapted pretty quickly to the life of an intern shit kicker, who managed to juggle that second job, throw in the third one for a little while and come out, slightly undamaged (less than usual) with a few more stories to tell.
If I had to summarise my year up in one word, it would definitely be a year of impulsiveness. I bought a house this year which was fun, not that I really wanted to but shit in life never really goes to plan. Started a business, travelled, became a pharmacist and left a job to finally start my career. All through impulsiveness, nothing planned, but couldn't of planned the timing better myself.
I woke up one day thinking that this would be a good idea, and I did it. Found myself some contacts and before you know it, 6 months had passed and it was time to hand over the money for something I could call my own. We decided to drive to Sydney, after an 'I'm game if you're game' conversation with the girlfriend and after 10 hours, we were starting at the harbour bridge.
Alot of people look back when they are 25 and think, fuck, where did all the time go.
I've looked back plenty of times this year, to an older time and thought, fuck me, I did all that? If my next 25 years are just about to start, I seriously can't wait for what is to come.
Kick start the new year off with a bang, and go do something impulsive.
You are never to old to say fuck lets do it.
The jump into adulthood; being a big kid, bigger than I was before anyways, didn't seem as gruesome as I once imagined. To be honest, if it were a jump at all, I wouldn't of been far off the ground. It kind of creeps up on you, inching closer at your heels and before you realize it, you look back and the younger days seem to have past by.
I say seem because you never really do grow up, especially if you're like me who really couldn't give two shits about much else, even when the world around you forces you to grow up. But maybe it's because I grew up too quickly, the harsh realization of poorness and 'no money in the wallet' while much younger made me realize much before the quarter life crisis many have, that life isn't all about getting by and surviving. I've said plenty of times that it's my time. I'm going to get out of this rut, this shit-hole, this survival mode that everyone seems to be trying to achieve.
And at about 65% of my current overall satisfaction of life, I feel I've achieved something people thrice my age may never reach. I'm out, out of the rut, out of the shit-hole, the survival mode. 65% mind you, a jump from about 40% since meeting the other one and graduating from university, and from 20% previously before then, is a growth which was achieved in just short of a year of hard fucking work.
The experiences....
Determination day today. Today is the day I get so determined that all my shit just gets done.
There's too much to do with so little time remaining. 8 am on a Friday morning and I've never been so pumped to write my 50 or so clinical interventions and finally finish the rest of my internship assessment off.
Don't have to wish me luck. I don't need it.
The final list. (not)
1. Clinical interventions
2. Extemporaneous dispensing assessment
3. CPD (2 more points)
4. Log CPD points
5. Sign up for First Aid course (next Friday)
6. Read Continuing Dispensing from PSA
7.
8.
9.
10. Go fishing
Sometimes the mind is blank with absolutely nothing sitting, nothing flowing, nothing aroused, and at others, it doesn't seem to stop.
What the shit do I do today! Day off, sun shining and I'm in the back wall at Griffith university, watching it all go by!
I'm actually in the library, the new section Griffith University opened up for it's students. Notice how I italictisized that, I'm not a student bitch and I'm stealing all your internet and air-conditioning goodness. Hiding in the back here trying to get some work done because apparently even on my days off I've managed to find more work to do.
I am absolutely so freaking behind on my CPD points it's not even funny anymore. It stopped being funny when I found out other colleagues had done 20 more than they required for the year compared to a big fat zero from yours truly. I guess I've just got to get started then don't I?
But I haven't been doing that, I've been answering e-mails, typing clinical interventions (because for some reason time just absolutely bolts at work), designing, taking calls, answering messages. Shit. When I'm rich, I'll hire someone to do this all for me. Until then, have a to do list;
1. E-mail blenders about costing/ pricing/ packaging (DONE)
2. Call lawyers for settlement
3. Reply to Facebook messages
4. Complete 2 CPD courses
5. Do compounding assessment for PSA
6. Start writing health promotion project.
7. Get familar with NPS medicinewise
8. Make a study plan for ORAL EXAM
9. Finish designs for T-shirts
10. Finish typing clinical interventions
11. Update price for accord (DONE)
12. Clean room
13. Buy a clothes rack and storage stuff
14. Give the dogs a bath
15. Re-organize documents
16. Chase up tax return
17. Blog
18. Go for a fish
As sleep derived and over caffeinated I feel at the present, I just can't help reflecting over my last couple of years after reading a few of my past blog posts.; something I've kind of been addicted to I might add.
To update you guys a little, I just returned from a weekend trip to Sydney; my second trip down there in the past year and a half and my fifth trip overal since then if I remember correctly. It's still a strange feeling, seeing how much I've changed since my younger days. There was a particular post where I described how lonely I felt (well there were many of them) when everyone left for holidays, away from good old Brisbane and when I stayed behind.
These days, as much as I love Brisbane and as much as I feel it more homely than anywhere else on the planet, I love leaving it to see the world to bring back it's memories. In a sense, it makes home more homely. As the saying goes, you really don't miss home until you leave it.
Apart from eating my guts out and enjoying the absolute perfect weather of Sydney, albeit, a little chilly, I came back with more than gifts and memories.
I looked at my reflection one night in Sydney and it made me realise that someone different was looking back. Apart from the obvious chin I apparently have now and the way age has made the skin around my eyes change, the look that looked back at me was strong and full of determination. I felt the feeling of accomplishment and change, which brought back all those memories of hard work, long nights and the endless arguments and hurt I had overcame to see this person looking back.
I relieved the past few years in those minute seconds of the shimmer in the eyes I saw. Not only did I relieve the emotions I felt when I met the love of my life, but I felt the hurt of the best friend who didn't understand me, the pleasure of the very last repetition on the bench press that I could survive and the taste of yummy Portuguese tart I had devoured just minutes before. I relieved it all.
It's true when they say your life flashes in front of you just before you die. Because it felt as if I had been reborn, the person looking back at me was no longer me, I had grown up so much that I couldn't recognise myself. The passion in the eyes I saw was different, the eyes are the gateway into soul and I feel that this soul is no longer a kid.
I am Ly and I have a purpose; I think I may have brought back something scary. But maybe I just hadn't understood my real potential.
Look out world.
Ly is coming.
