As sleep derived and over caffeinated I feel at the present, I just can't help reflecting over my last couple of years after reading a few of my past blog posts.; something I've kind of been addicted to I might add.
To update you guys a little, I just returned from a weekend trip to Sydney; my second trip down there in the past year and a half and my fifth trip overal since then if I remember correctly. It's still a strange feeling, seeing how much I've changed since my younger days. There was a particular post where I described how lonely I felt (well there were many of them) when everyone left for holidays, away from good old Brisbane and when I stayed behind.
These days, as much as I love Brisbane and as much as I feel it more homely than anywhere else on the planet, I love leaving it to see the world to bring back it's memories. In a sense, it makes home more homely. As the saying goes, you really don't miss home until you leave it.
Apart from eating my guts out and enjoying the absolute perfect weather of Sydney, albeit, a little chilly, I came back with more than gifts and memories.
I looked at my reflection one night in Sydney and it made me realise that someone different was looking back. Apart from the obvious chin I apparently have now and the way age has made the skin around my eyes change, the look that looked back at me was strong and full of determination. I felt the feeling of accomplishment and change, which brought back all those memories of hard work, long nights and the endless arguments and hurt I had overcame to see this person looking back.
I relieved the past few years in those minute seconds of the shimmer in the eyes I saw. Not only did I relieve the emotions I felt when I met the love of my life, but I felt the hurt of the best friend who didn't understand me, the pleasure of the very last repetition on the bench press that I could survive and the taste of yummy Portuguese tart I had devoured just minutes before. I relieved it all.
It's true when they say your life flashes in front of you just before you die. Because it felt as if I had been reborn, the person looking back at me was no longer me, I had grown up so much that I couldn't recognise myself. The passion in the eyes I saw was different, the eyes are the gateway into soul and I feel that this soul is no longer a kid.
I am Ly and I have a purpose; I think I may have brought back something scary. But maybe I just hadn't understood my real potential.
Look out world.
Ly is coming.
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