it was just really hard having to cope with the fact that mum, through thick and thin is always trying to support the family with all her heart. it's a good hour and a half to where she works up north and every few weeks, there are only a few days where she has time to come back, sort out the house and the bills that are due.
it did make me pretty upset when she left that wednesday morning. since then though, i've tried even harder to make the house-work. i guess running your own household to its capacity is pretty much like a second job. you've always gotta be on your game, and aware of what's going on. it's become kind of second nature actually which is pretty cool as with previous early attempts to sort out laundry and scrub dishes and the like, taking many dreadful hours, these days, a mere half or so would be enough to do alot.
i've had a bit of time to clean up many things in my life. the gyming martin and i have been keeping with has released soo much stress as well as improving our friendship. but other than physical and nutritional improvements, i've tried tp follow the being happy secrets article on http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/ in which i've attempted to improve a few of my relationships with others. as a quote from the site states:
Life’s truest happiness is found in friendships we make along the way.
i've realised that within the past couple of months or so, alot of my relationships whether it be at work or personal have been more or less on autopilot. there are many peaks and depressions may the relationship be plotted against time of year but upon a developmental state, it still seems to have plateaued. we started to restart our bonding time again which was awesome; there's always a few hours of lazing around staring at the skies and talking about what makes you happy or unhappy. the topic of what we'll do as christmas comes round is always a good one to talk about. it's been a good couple of weeks.
i'm to quit security this friday and although as ecstatic and eager i may have felt since i've let my boss know, there's alot of dissapointment and regret lingering in the air. i honestly have had enough of the job at the moment. i definately won't miss dealing with rude bad behavioured intoxicated patrons but i do miss the bonds i've made with the few who share the same passion for work and friendship. there aren't any jobs in the world where relationships aren't built but with security, the bonds you share are much like family; as close as brothers are to be. as corny as it seems to use the word love, there definately is nothing that can be used to describe these relationships. there's always someone who looks out for you, watches your back and comes to assistance when shit hits the fan. there's always someone who will risk their life to save yours. when shit does hit the fan and we've all been raughted by the managers though, we all sit down with one another and laugh, and converse and sometimes boasting of the battle scars we had incurred. i definately will miss my family at the calamvale and alex hills but there is always the future, the one where someday we will all enjoy it together.
i feel pretty content with life at the moment. i love these days where the sun is blazing and the wind blows through dust covered blinds.....
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