hehehehe....

sometimes i do laugh at the situations i am in. well maybe not....but it is kinda funny when ja simple little things such as alchohol, a v ery addictive drug mind you can take over your bodily sysstems nd render you pretty much...well....worthlesss, not in such a sense of mental mind though as it does make you think of man other things.

i guess alchohol can help you forget things, considering the bloody insane hangover you'ld experience upon the morning on a big night out. but it does also help you figure little things out, or i guess think of themm nonethe less. how would i, iif not drunk, oror sober (yeah i guot you there), be able to express feelings that i've helpd in for so much long.

yes, it is pretty certyain that i'vehad litltle success in my life up until now,but in sayin g that, i've managed to find a group of friends whom not only love me for whom i am, they appreiciat alll the little thingsi n life and well, even if they are a llittle sidetracked, there is alsoways time for.....us time...?

o don't kn0ow, these days, life just seems to be sooooooo routine (i've said it before and i'll say it again) but you know what, it's good to have spontaneous times like these. i'm able to express what i really feel and not be curtained by other aspects of life. i really hope ray had an aesomwe night.....

tonight taughed me the imporatnce of appreaciateding life and having fun going with the flow. cheers guys, this is dru8nk ly, out.....

yes i know, i know, it's probably the crappest picture to show you of any difference between the two pictures before an after but pretty much, if you can look pass the headlights and ignore any of the glare, you will see that the car has transformed from an unattractive, worn green respray to a silky smooth satin black.

whoa, a one sentence paragraph. my english is awesome.

BEFORE


MIDPOINT


AFTER

do you ever get the feeling that sometimes even the wizard of oz couldn't help you?

hopefully there will be a few things that will be done today, can't wait for it to start. i'm not sure if i should even bother sleeping knowing that i'll be woken up in a few hours anyways...maybe keep my eyes open for however long they are willing to 'stay' open?

19/06/2009 - holidays to do list (so far)

- get boat sorted out
- reformat computer
- clean bedroom
- sort out uni notes
- paint the rest of the car
- clean the car
- vacumn the car
- pay off my little debts
- ask for more hours at the 6er
- wash cola
- go to the wreckers and grab a dimmer
- slightly lower the car
- service the car
- clean up the sunroon
- clean up the fish tank

..........-------..........>

hehehe

why all the heheheeing you might wonder? well as it is, i'm officially on holidays but with knowing that i finished last monday, why is it that i'm still pretty happy, maybe something else made me feel this way?

and yeah that's pretty much it ay. i can't believe that just one little (not really little i guess but one thing nonetheless) thing which was addressed today has brought me a whole lot of joy, alot more so than say, last night before my head hit the bed.

i've done satisfiable amounts of fishing although barely sufficient i'ld like to think and i've pretty much put my head down and how did that metaphor go...,'hit the ground running' as you'ld say. i finished painting the front half of my car as an experiment and i guess i couldn't be more happier knowing that it doesn't look as dodgy as i'ld thought it would turn out being.

catching up on some needed exam replacement sleep, no longer am i waking up at the 3 or 4 in the afternoon which resulted from early morning cramming allowing me to make more of my day. i can't wait to get the boat sorted, i've started a list, which is pretty typical ay...

hopefully these holidays are...productive.

unfold - jason mraz



Hands in line
Arms close to my side
I'm fighting tides of an ocean's undertow
And I figure I might not make it
And I'm taking empty
But seldom keeping
And the words retreat breathing histories into stories untold
And I unfold.


My hands are high
And I'm holding out, holding up
Because I figure that I just might make it
And I'm waking empty but seldom sleeping
And the words repeat breathing histories into stories untold
And I unfold.


Quality is what you see now in the corner of your eye.
Don't be surprised if you hear the bells ring
They form from the sky and they sound bong, bong, bong
And I'm holding up because I figure that I just make it.


And I'm waking empty but seldom sleeping
And the words repeat breathing histories into stories untold
And I unfold.

ahhhh ma gwuad!!!!

so i guess referring back to the start of my exam period posting; i can finally see the end of the tunnel and am slowly, at the time being heading towards the light. in a few more simple hours (12 to be exact) i will be pretty free, or should i say free from study for the many many weeks to come. to be really honest, there is no doubt in my mind that i will be staying back another year to finish off my degree because of some unfortunate and dissapointing exam performances but i guess why worry now when you can worry later? (no no, that's no real way of looking at it is it?)

but either way, what's done is done and i guess to be successful in general you gotta make sure you don't make the same mistake twice ay, everyone f*cks up. as content as i might sound (i am actually pretty content) i'm still to worry about a few things which have to be done in the next couple of days, things which i've been putting off for way too long.

i've got to really sort out my money issues at the moment. the two weeks or so of no work even though doesn't account for some enormous amount of money is gonna kill me the second bills come in the next week or so. i've got to find another job, preferably at a pharmacy somewhere where i can gain a little bit more experience as well as helping me find new ideas of things.
i've got to quit security for good this week and help out more at the 6er. hopefully things work out.

i've got to figure out what's going on with this electricity stuff as well as little bits and pieces there. i'll try and put in some time to paint my little beast as well, you'll see what i've done to it in a few days, it will be sexy. but yeah, hopefully this good break after exam will give me some time to fix things and do things as well.

just a few more hours to go. i seriously can't wait.

absolutely mangled by the last couple of exams, i'm not quite sure why i've still managed to put some time aside to blog considering my next is well, tomorrow (i guess tomorrows one isn't too bad considering most of it was studied for the oral exam last tuesday; man, i don't even want to think about that).

phuccie and i spent a good few hours catching up on our fishing thursday night. a good bream was kept and the few undersizes were reluctantly let go. in an attempt to train for the prawn season which might actually start early this year considering how bloody cold it's getting, we decided to finish the night early, short of the few last prawns to cast net back home in brisbane.

popping home to do a plopper and grab my c-net, we were off to our place under the gateway where well, the cold seriously was not worth the catch of a good bucket of mullet. stripping down my 4 layers of longings and belongings, the feeling of the wet and the wind blowing against my wet was not even a bit experienced until the adrenaline rushing through our veins had dissapated on the walk back to the car. toes feeling like they were about to fall off and the rapid increases in respiration (probably from the initial shock of the cold) welcomed the level 4 heater which was turned on instantly upon starting her up.

we headed over to the colmslie jetty in hope for some prawns and well, pretty much anything that we could net. a good session which led to a couple of prawns, some herring and a ripped to bits cast net gave the both of us some experience, something we definately will look forward to in the few weeks to come (no sarcasm intended).

i must emphasize again, it was 'absolutely freezing'.

absolutely....

hahahaha

ive memorised one lecture and now i think i'm a mad dude..............................

so i hit up the lectures i was supposed to do yesterday and have only got to getting through one so far.

i've gone through epilepsy which doesn't seem too hard and i've become complacent beause of it.

all i can think of is thursday and all the things im going to do to relax before my last exam on monday; who cares right, it's on monday?

my 15 hours or so of sleep today has helped me stay pretty wide awake but the caffeine i had was pure awesome, it helped cure my headache (damn you vasodilation!)

i've got that much time to spare (thats what my stupid side of the brain thinks) that i was able to read a study on the affects of excess caffeine.

i love fishing that much that i've booked phuccie out for next thursday.

its freezing.

i think i have swine flu.




i've re-editted this thing too many times now that i don't really care anymore about my engrish mistakes.

spongbox...

was not a typo,.... i'm just an idiot.

so yeah mang, still with the sleep in my eyes, and neck aching, pretty much feeling like f*ck all over, i think coming back down from the caffeine addiction has absolutely stuffed me.

on top of that, i'll probably rock up next year doing micro for the second time (i really really hope not though). that exam was soooo freaking crazy ay, i hope that some all mightly force actually helps me pass that thing; that's pretty much all that i'm relying on really, no faith....no faith at all.

my intention last night was to cram hard for the first half of the semester of pharmacology; depression, alzheimers, parkinsons and epilepsy but it was occupied by some sleeping and tv watching; i'm sooo wrecked ay, more so than a prisoners anus when they get let out. but ohh well, i guess it's still early days as much as i say it isn't.

when i really think about it, i do the majority of my studies at night, in the 4 or so hours it offers me. it's 12:39 at the moment so that means before my 'actual' study which begins usually round 7, i've got a good 6 or so hours so lets see how it goes. i really do plan to finish most of my stuff tonight. i've got court and my pharmacy oral to worry about but pharmacology is just such a ball licking subject, im suprised i haven't stressed out even more...

2 semesters of pharmacology i guess helps you get used to some of it....

i need to pass this exam, superman, please help me, i need to be rescued!

so it seems that i'm not stressing too much but i can just imagine how i'm going to feel tomorrow night, tuesday night and wednesday night. to be really truthful, my right kidney feels a little funny at the moment but usually all parts of my body malfunctions sooner or later during exams, damn, it's starting a little early though i've got to admit.

im half way through my exam notes for saturday which has been mostly on cleaning of sh*t. hopefully after this half or so of getting my mind awake listening to some mraz and having a feed on 4 day old banh mi thit i'll be able to finish most of it off so i can start studying other stuff. i've given up on trying to memorise absolutely everything especially....

------

so it is actually tomorrow and my exam is in a few hours. hmm, what has changed since the time i started this blog, not too much. i am, but very minimally, stressed which is what i really need at the moment so i can sit down and try to absolutely haul ass. thought that although the majority of the marks are in the second part of the semester, the studying of the first portions wouldn't be such a bad idea for the easy marks. i've gone through most of the start of semester stuff again and am pretty (not absolutely) confident that i'll be able to pass that stuff.

second part of the semester has been started and like i said before i really couldn't be bothered remembering all the processes of cleaning to be honest. hopefully things will just pop out in the multiple choice and as for the short answer questions, well, good luck to me ay? even though it does worry me that i might have to survive this bloody unit once more next year (touch wood to the freaking days), i just want to get it the hell over and done with so i can concentrate on my next two exams (coming very very soon).

i've already sorted out all the things i've neeeded to study for the two subjects as i have with all the tasks i've to do that's been compounding all week to be able to have a good solid weekend of as little interuptions as possible. i've skipped the massive caffeine load tonight in hope for the ability to fall asleep soon and for a few hours. im actually pretty scared that i won't be able to wake up so i'll set my alarm a good 20 or so times...hopefully that will be enough.

i know this post really doesn't make too much sense or is succint than usually, (well makes even less sense than usual i should say) but i just have a need to blog and put a few things out there physically instead of on my mind.

i'll be back

so yay it is for the instant things in my life at the moment. upon near completion of my analysis on the pharmacology and pharmacotherapeutics of venlafaxine, a much loved serotonin noradrenaline reuptake inhibitor for use in the antidepressant world, i find that life is quite complex considering the levels of serotonin in your brain are what stipulates how you feel about everything....

nonetheless, i must have some type of mutagenic excessive serotonin production to be this swell upon the beginning of the much to be endured, weeks of finals. much like preparing for battle (not much like it at all) training of all sorts must be done prior and mental preparations must be dealt with to provide the best case scenario; that of which is to fight and succeed with the evils.

i have to be blunt though, that if i were to head to battle tomorrow, i would probably die on the way. i guess in regards to examwise anyways, i might be able to find some ninja ability along the way which might give me a 0.0001 percent chance of coming back with all my arms and legs attached. im not sure if my rant successfully explains much, but in the world i am at the moment im just trying to be optimistic.

i've pretty much accepted the fact that failing this semester is a good probability and even with the ample time i've got to prepare for the exams, my acceptance still lingers. with the amount of chance i gave myself, i guess 0.0001 is some chance nonetheless. does having 0.0001 chance of passing mean that i have a 99.9999 percent chance of failing.....?

i don't think soooo mr.

man, i'm gonna have to start cramming hard.....

i'm still trying to figure out why i'm such a mad c.nt. hahaha, i am quite jittery at the moment and am a little scared that in some specific increment of time, that by some chance, my heart will stop and i will stop being so mad.

i've turned to the good old green and to tell you the truth i have never really felt better, really. too stressed i am that i've actually forgotten for the little time it has been (much like when you need to poo soo much that you stop needing to poo). i guess like all things though, how gangster newton expressed it, with every action, there is a reaction. was that him? im so ever keen to not ponder.

to me, the only reaction i can actually look forward to is the insane diahorrea i'll be experiencing, well actually these days i've developed such a tolerance for caffeine that i simply, to be less graphic, butt fart. nonetheless, butt farting is still better than what i've had to endure. i hate studying but for some reason tonight seems alright, maybe a little better, maybe i've seen just that little ray of light at the end of the never ending tunnel of darkness.

is that a train...?

urge to blog pt 2

with a more than satisfactory feeling experienced from the previous fishing trip, we decided for a second trip through the hesitation that it would destroy our awesome memory of the last. we brought molo along to help carry the fish. the numbers weren't up from the previous trip however the quality of fish were much better. according to our new ranking system named 'bear grylls' where the size of the feed a catch makes is more valued than the number of fish caught, phuccie brought home a more than satisfied meal and even though molo snagged a few good in the rocks, the size of the couple of bream he pulled up was quite decent.

apart from the looks we were getting from all directions and lines of the jealous which crossed ours, it was a good night.

my urge to blog

so i've loaded this page up every internet session i've had and although with much urge and need to blog, i've never actually brought myself into actually writing a couple of words.

there's so much that i've wanted to blog about that if i actually remembered it all, i don't think even the three weeks till holidays plus the month of holidays would be enough time for me to fininsh writing it. so, i'll try my best, and remember the more important things of the things i was supposed to blog.

fishing probably was what started it. a few good weeks back on good friday was probably one of, if not the best fishing experience i've had for a good long time. everything was just perfect. i remember the weather wasn't all that good that whole week and the one before it but friday started with clear blue skies. it was good friday so most of australia was on break and i would be happy with any excuse to have work off on a friday. phuccie and i headed down to the coast early for once (a pre-planned trip is always better than one unplanned). the plan of pumping yabbies on the sandbanks behind the seaway was washed away literally with the full moons affect on the normal rising tide. water at our knees instead of ankles lead us to the spit anyway with a bag of prawns phuccie brought.

the rocks gave the both of us some needed practise on how to deal with the more so difficult snag fishing. with only a few fish biting and the feed we were giving the mosquitoes while waiting for the high tide to come we decided to check out a new spot phuccie had discovered. we fished all along broadbeach, travelling down the channel to fish before the run in tide led us to a load of good sized bream and whiting and a bucket load of butter bream. fishing that night taught the both of us how important a little planning and common sense goes into catching a good feed. a few things we reckon every fishmen/ women should know; -

1. fish a few hours before the high tide
2. plan out your fishing locations beforehand
3. bring the lightest gear you need and the least of it (travel light)
4. bring fresh bait
5. bring lemon (a very good mosquito repellent discovered by phuccie)
6. have a good sharp knife
7. bring a bright torch for scouting
8. bring a good fishing partner
9. have a good attitude to the environment
10. be prepared to do some discovering
11. be prepared for a long night

we finished the night pretty satisfied. i was completely wrecked and phuccie rediscovered his love for fishing. count,- 41 fish, 30 or so keeps. wasn't a bad night.

i have done jack

i think i need to sleep.

what does v give you?


''one who has no dreams has nothing''

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