Is it the end? Barely. But I guess I can't really say that either. I finished my last exam that I will ever have at uni, hopefully, that's if I pass them all. I seriously do hope I did though, it would suck having to wait a whole year to go for it again.
But by barely, I mean there is now a four week placement block to be completed. The first day was pretty relaxed, especially...
If you want to do something with your life, get up and do it.
Quads! Calves! Everythinggg! Absolutely everything screams in pain at the moment, even while lying here blogging, but the feeling of ecstasy upon crossing that finish line was definitely worth it! I'm not quite sure how I did it but to be real honest, I still can't believe it happened. The 10 kilometer bridge to Brisbane finished as quickly as it started.
We (Ricky, Bondy and I) decided to go for the 10 kilometer some random night out from motivation surfaced from not attempting last years Brisbane to Brisbane. This year, we felt that it wasn't going to happen unless we signed up so we did it, planned to anyways. It wasn't until Ricky signed us up literally two days before, and picked up our running packs the day after that, that reality definitely hit me in the face. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was always keen on doing it someday, just not, that particular day.
With that being said though, we did train for the run. Kind of. Not particularly intense hard training, or the training we thought would of been sufficient, but we did smash out a few cardio sessions. I got a new pair of kicks after an 8 kilometre run in my K-mart volleys after shattering both my knees and ankles. But soon upon beginning my run-in with my new nikes, it felt like being back at square one now with the emphasis on the pain on the arches of my feet. All of the pain slowly began to go away which I reckon had something to do with everything just getting stronger. I did two 6 kilometer sessions at the gym after that but it wasn't until I ran a 3 k-er on the road which put me on my arse. Running on the road was so much harder than running stationary on a treadmill! Everything just wrecked, hams, quads, calves, biceps? But musclular pain could be helped, and I hoped that if my cardiovascular was in check, the pain from the mus-cals could be controlled.
The day came and I was up nice and early. Well, the pumped feeling of actually doing it kept me pretty much up all night anyways (all night was the 4 hours between getting home from work/ Ricky's, to pick up my running pack and 3:30 when I needed to be up). Bondy swung by to pick us up and we were on our way into the early hours of the morning, to a run we've never attempted before.
It was ridiculously cold and while we shared what we had eaten for our pre-run feed (bondy had two kiwi fruits and I raised him four strawberry's), we pretty much arrived at Murarrie; the 4 o'clock traffic was pretty much non-existent (it actually wasn't even pretty much, there was none).
And so it began as soon as we got to parking. Trekking an 800 metres to the start line where THOUSANDS of keen as people lined the street adjacent to the gateway, about to begin as well. The atmosphere was absolutely lively, and I'm assuming the similar 4 o'clock wake up most people had, the liveliness from a caffeine pump was probable?
It's hard to believe that everyone, one day will die. Yes, what a blog starter I know, especially with the number of current events, much closer than they seem; (maybe a reason for my current blogging), but life cannot be without death. Physically, our bodies are made by the earth so it's just eventual that we are returned to it. Like the fundamental laws of science, you just can't create something out of nothing (higgs boson?).
But apart from our carbon atoms dispersing and giving back the energy it took to make us, why is it that it's so hard to accept life as a cycle. Why is life attached with so many emotions, feelings and intangible things which make it so hard for one to let go.
Why with only death, are we reminded of how good someone was, or how someone will be dearly missed. It really would be difficult to imagine not seeing someone you loved or even someone you don't, ever ever again. How hard it would be to be in someone else' shoes to have lost someone; makes me a little pessimistic about why we are even here.
But in life, if anything else apart from giving back to mother nature, should be giving back to the people. A life fulfilled is a life lived to make a difference to others. For all those who have been lost physically, may you forever be alive within those people who stand.
I will strive for a life fulfilled, because for too long, I have taken life for granted.
O, my goodness. I'm so hyped up on the C-feine that I'm having trouble staying focused on the task at hand; that being, my four weeks worth of lectures I need to learn for my mid semesters which so happen to start tomorrow.
It really doesn't help being so bloody cold as well, fingers frozen and being a pretty laxed out day in general. Maybe I should turn off the beats playing in the background but it's my study break (going onto an hour now) so stuff it.
There is a lot coming in the next couple of weeks. Not only have examinations, assignments and uni related what not arrived and still coming soon after that, life seems to be rushing me in these next closing months of the year. Have I been looking forward to it, hells yeah, am I overwhelmed, you bet! Feeling slightly nervous and excited at the same time but I've been waiting for this moment for so long.
Come at me life. I stand ready, pretending to be that is.
Going to see Tom with Marius just a few nights ago made me realize how much I've really changed over the years. Even the catch up (barely) with Yu a few months back made me rethink how life has been since the day my feet left New Zealand.
Standing next to the beast of a human being, Marius swaying gently to the beats of Home Brew, I felt at peace. 4 or so years on since Toms' music was introduced to us Aquinas guys through his portable mp3 player, he finished his Australian Tour in Brisbane, my home town. That really made me think of what I had done in the past 4 or so years. Marius, a dentist now, took the weekend off from Hervey Bay to come see Tom with me.
It was absolutely amazing to see far everyone has come and yet, be so humble and genuine. In all honesty, I was filled with love, from how real and genuine these people who have come into my life have been. I apologized to Yu for not coming down to see the guys when I said I would, he replied, 'it doesn't matter because we're all coming to you!'.
I haven't stopped listening to Home brew since he gave me a signed CD on Sunday. It read 'Shot for always being a real cunt Ly. Aquinas --->; TOM.' I've listened to a fair few tracks before on you tube but for some reason I hadn't really understood it. Don't get me wrong, his lyrics are meaningful as, and not yet have I heard someone with such feeling and emotion but I really do just understand it all now.
I'm not sure whether it was because I was lost away in my little life that I had forgotten about everything else that made me happy or that seeing Tom and Marius and Yu re-ignited something. Hearing Tom got me to relive my happiness I felt back then. I felt at peace, happy, and I smile when the play button is pressed and I see Toms words flying straight from his mouth.
I am reminded of that good old place up on the hill. The place where on a clear day, the waves from the harbour can be heard, and the smell of that satay burger from the satay palace lingers in the air. And I would suddenly be surrounded by the boys, replying from my text that I was bored and wanted to go do something.
I am reminded of how carefree and full of love and ambition I was. Every time I listen to Home brew I am reminded of when Yu put salt in my water at Hanis'. Or was it Harry, or was it Pedro, Mana...? But I remember, the good old days and how I felt.
Life shouldn't change who you are, it should just add more stories for you to tell.
It's the end of week 2 of my final semester at university, ever. Being quite surreal is actually an understatement at the moment, I'm trying hard to wake myself up but it just doesn't seem to be working.
doesn't always roar.
sometimes courage is the quite voice at the
end of the day saying
'i will try again tomorrow'.
I'm going to admit again, that I have been an old irritated grumpy, borderline psychotic bastard. Do I feel like I need anti-depressants, probably, but let's just see how I feel after my little break from reality.
Melbourne it is tomorrow, and I've been looking forward to it since April when the missus spontaneously bought us a return ticket, and a 4 night stay out on Swanston. I love her, really, I do, because without her, I wouldn't really have much to look forward to, I definitely wouldn't of felt like going to Melbourne if we hadn't pre-purchased the tickets that's for sure.
The balance problem I've been having really does affect how I view the world. Being in debt, and an unhealthy one that is (one where final notices don't really phase me any more), makes working to get out of it a necessity, rather than working to live life. Living and surviving are completely different, if you haven't really figured out already. If you haven't, you definitely should appreciate what you have right now.
I hate the world, but in all honesty, I hate pretty much everything right now because I'm angry. Having said that, I do go against what I believe and that is, when your angry, it's hard to be positive. I think that's where my whole hate for the world stemmed from; I haven't had the time to not be angry, to sit, think and gather my thoughts. Compare and contrast the good, the bad and the completely absolute ugly of life. But like I said previously, once you're in a rutt, a desperation to get out of it, especially when it becomes a necessity to work, the instance between fight or flight where you have to choose one or the other...Well, that what rules your life.
You either fight to the end, and find your equilibrium, or you fly away to another one. I haven't really figured out which one I'm doing, or will do but everyday I reassure myself that whatever I choose will be the right decision, whether it be a good one or a bad one. The right one is the one you don't regret.
I will enjoy the next couple of days in paradise, in hope that it will bring me back to paradise once I get back home. I will be an example for your kids. The example of where hard work will bring you, just wait for me to complete my course, then you'll all see.
to melbourne. I'm going to melbourne. I'm going to eeeeeat all day, and then I'll sleeeeep all night.
*Sings in tune of Eddy Murphy during Ice-cream scene
Check it out! My first edited picture! Which is better.
Hint. The second one!
Well did I work my ass off? I sure hope I did because if that wasn't one of the hardest months I've had, I sure hope I can take what else there is to come. So alright, it wasn't actually that terribly hard, just a little lack of sleep here and there, I mean you only really need 6 hours a night anyway right; there are still 18 hours left of whatever else you please?
I got away with 6 most nights of the week but the weekends really did test my strength. I didn't really get off my feet starting on Friday morning at 7 until the midnight of Saturday. Placement then to the restaurant, then to security, then to the restaurant and then gym. I see where you're getting at and I agree, why not just skip gym and close those seekers for a little of those ponies. Honestly, I really don't know, but I never did skip one gym session the whole month or so I was on placement.
It just seemed easier and easier to get through my days as the days progressed along the weeks. 8 hour days just didn't seem as long by the end of the four week period, dude, even the 40 or so hours of work those weekends didn't phase me much by the end of it. I guess what the whole experience taught me was if it needs to be done, regardless of the situation, one foot over the next gets you one step closer to your goal, or in my case, completion.
I'll tell you now, I definitely am not as productive now, on holidays, with days to do all the things I planned to do, compared to when I was living the placement life. But hard work pays off and I do stand by that, so much more than I did before starting placement. Don't get me wrong, I have always been a hard work pays off type of guy but in this instance, I really did have a smidgen of doubt as to whether or not my hard work would impress anyone at my placement locations. I doubted whether or not my hard work was even acceptable as hard work, unsure if the type of work I would be doing was actually easier for others than myself.
I found it incredibly challenging on my first day to stocktake. I remember wandering the little pharmacy at least a hundred times, and I damn well assure you I'm not exaggerating this value! My brain just didn't function that way, it was incredibly hard to spatially remember where everything was, remembering whether or not it was next to this or that. This tasks should seem simple to me right, considering left handers are all spatially gifted I was thought to believe, but it was difficult, and I'd have to say, one of the most frustrating things I have ever had to do in my life!
I'm officially on holidays. Holidays from university that is, but not really considering we have to look for two placement sites to finish off the final chapter of this pharmacy course! We've also got to get started on the large amounts of assessment which we'll be drowning in if we don't get a started on them now.
But I'm enjoying this little free time I have at the moment. Coming off a whole month of work experience at two pharmacies, based around the Inala area, I'd have to admit, it's made me even more motivated in becoming a pharmacist; especially one who is involved with the Vietnamese community.
Being able to speak Vietnamese was definitely an important trait to have working in this area. I mean, how were the Vietnamese patients able haggle with you? Cheap bastards! These two blocks of placement have no doubt shown the real representation of Pharmacy life. I absolutely fell in love with the interaction pharmacy staff have with patients. The abilities we have to change a persons life through supplying medications and correct counselling, I feel is very satisfying. Regardless of the occasional grumpy old patient who I guess can be understandably upset (medical condition/ other reasons?), I feel fulfilled each and every time when I am able to help a patient, even if they didn't seem appreciative.
I met some of the most wonderful and inspiring people on my placement. Patients ranged from those who were done with life and it's negativities, to those who were content regardless of what life brought them. It was these patients which I reflect back on whenever I feel down. The pharmacy teams consisting of pharmacy assistances, dispense technicians, retail managers and not to mention, the pharmacists themselves, all had stories, present happenings, and future beginnings.
It was such a pleasure meeting every single one of these people, an experience that has changed me as a person. It's rare enough finding someone who can change your life, but a whole bunch of people, all of whom have changed the course of my life...I feel very blessed.
But maybe it wasn't the actual people who I met. Maybe it was something else within me, my mindset even, that changed the way I looked at the world. I remember a particular conversation with my missus which discussed an ultimatum. Realistically, I have never worked in a pharmacy and wouldn't know the first thing about working in one; apart from sorting scripts in ascending order and doing bin runs once in a while.
I promised myself that within this full month of placement, I would make myself employable through my hard work. I would learn as much as I could about pharmacy and work my ass off in the process.
TBC
I love winter! Something about the coldness brings calm to the mind and relaxes the bo body. Absolutely endless blue skies, so clear you could probably see the darkness of space if you really tried. Mood levels are high today even though being raped with 8 hour placement days on 5 hour work shift hasnt killed me yet, im down powered, seriously. Only two more weeks. Ive got to keep telling myself this. Ciao ciao
Practically pretty dead both physically and mentally but honestly, haven't been in a better mood.
Money is not on my mind because for at least now, it seems that having alot of it or not much of it (I'm sure you can guess that I have the latter), doesn't really affect me. I'm so tired, I think if I closed them just that little bit longer, I'd probably wake up on Sunday. But I'm fine. I feel great, maybe it's the way I've looked at a particular position and how I've made myself feel which may explain such current content. 'They' do say that with a strong mind, even a weak person can win a war; don't know who said that though...I think I made it up.
Off to work, so glad I'm able to sleep soon. See you all after my slumber.
