playing guitar during my little study break periods, (more like when i get distracted) it's strange how all of a sudden i just "learnt" how to play barre chords. ever since the nz days, and before, i've always had trouble with them. my fingers just weren't strong enough. even the little 1st fret bar for the simple f chord could not be sustained for much longer than a few seconds. but now, although not perfect, i've been able to not only smash the f chord, but have also been able to do a whole myriad of other barres (particular those from the james morrison song ~ you give me something and jason mrazs' please don't tell her). i dunno, this little happening put me into a bit of a weird one. it's just, i realized that if i hadn't turned on my laptop today, and youtubed, and listened to those particular songs, and hadn't i had that urge to pick up my guitar and learn and practise how to play them, i wouldn't of been able to get to where i have.
but then what got me thinking was just how i've done the same thing soo many times before. i've picked up the guitar and put it back down again after failing to find any progress. why, was it that today, at that particular moment that i concerned all my mental and physical (it might not of even been that) power towards the guitar, and it just happened. im not sure if it can be described as scary but i just can't get over the fact that maybe other people could succeed in something with just that last try, but never do because they've given up soo many times and that they finally let it go....i mean like, after falling down and failing every single time and having it so clear cut that some things just aren't meant to be, and having given up, what if, with just that one particular next try, you would find it, and be able to do it. who gives you those chances?
i guess unless you succeed, try and try again. i love the feeling where your nose is on the verge of bleeding, your fingers cramping, and with that last attempt to wedge the piece in between your nail and skin of your index, you get the bitch. not only does it feel awesome, but there seems to be some sense of success, relief. maybe that one last try is all you need. i'm going to pick my nose
(metaphorically referring to the fact that i'm going to attempt all the things i've given up on in the past with my hardest of all efforts. if i fail once more, i'll keep the memory stored, and get back to it another day because for all i know, it is then that i would succeed)
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