nothing special

Yeah yeah, roll your eyes. Here comes a new years resolution post you might be thinking. Sure, you are probably half right but seriously, from half completed Blog posts, to sitting around waiting for my next shift at the pharmacy to start, I feel like I should be a little more proactive. And what a better way to do that, than to propose it for the new year, which starts in just short of 12 hours.

What a year it has been. Seriously. This time last year, I was ass to the grass, swamped in so much shit that I really didn't think I was going to make it out. But I did, and I adapted pretty quickly to the life of an intern shit kicker, who managed to juggle that second job, throw in the third one for a little while and come out, slightly undamaged (less than usual) with a few more stories to tell.

If I had to summarise my year up in one word, it would definitely be a year of impulsiveness. I bought a house this year which was fun, not that I really wanted to but shit in life never really goes to plan. Started a business, travelled, became a pharmacist and left a job to finally start my career. All through impulsiveness, nothing planned, but couldn't of planned the timing better myself.

I woke up one day thinking that this would be a good idea, and I did it. Found myself some contacts and before you know it, 6 months had passed and it was time to hand over the money for something I could call my own. We decided to drive to Sydney, after an 'I'm game if you're game' conversation with the girlfriend and after 10 hours, we were starting at the harbour bridge.

Alot of people look back when they are 25 and think, fuck, where did all the time go.

I've looked back plenty of times this year, to an older time and thought, fuck me, I did all that? If my next 25 years are just about to start, I seriously can't wait for what is to come.

Kick start the new year off with a bang, and go do something impulsive.
You are never to old to say fuck lets do it.

The jump into adulthood; being a big kid, bigger than I was before anyways, didn't seem as gruesome as I once imagined. To be honest, if it were a jump at all, I wouldn't of been far off the ground. It kind of creeps up on you, inching closer at your heels and before you realize it, you look back and the younger days seem to have past by.

I say seem because you never really do grow up, especially if you're like me who really couldn't give two shits about much else, even when the world around you forces you to grow up. But maybe it's because I grew up too quickly, the harsh realization of poorness and 'no money in the wallet' while much younger made me realize much before the quarter life crisis many have, that life isn't all about getting by and surviving. I've said plenty of times that it's my time. I'm going to get out of this rut, this shit-hole, this survival mode that everyone seems to be trying to achieve.

And at about 65% of my current overall satisfaction of life, I feel I've achieved something people thrice my age may never reach. I'm out, out of the rut, out of the shit-hole, the survival mode. 65% mind you, a jump from about 40% since meeting the other one and graduating from university, and from 20% previously before then, is a growth which was achieved in just short of a year of hard fucking work.

The experiences....

Determination day today. Today is the day I get so determined that all my shit just gets done.

There's too much to do with so little time remaining. 8 am on a Friday morning and I've never been so pumped to write my 50 or so clinical interventions and finally finish the rest of my internship assessment off.

Don't have to wish me luck. I don't need it.

The final list. (not)

1. Clinical interventions
2. Extemporaneous dispensing assessment
3. CPD (2 more points)
4. Log CPD points
5. Sign up for First Aid course (next Friday)
6. Read Continuing Dispensing from PSA
7.
8.
9.
10. Go fishing

Sometimes the mind is blank with absolutely nothing sitting, nothing flowing, nothing aroused, and at others, it doesn't seem to stop. 

What the shit do I do today! Day off, sun shining and I'm in the back wall at Griffith university, watching it all go by!

I'm actually in the library, the new section Griffith University opened up for it's students. Notice how I italictisized that, I'm not a student bitch and I'm stealing all your internet and air-conditioning goodness. Hiding in the back here trying to get some work done because apparently even on my days off I've managed to find more work to do.

I am absolutely so freaking behind on my CPD points it's not even funny anymore. It stopped being funny when I found out other colleagues had done 20 more than they required for the year compared to a big fat zero from yours truly. I guess I've just got to get started then don't I?

But I haven't been doing that, I've been answering e-mails, typing clinical interventions (because for some reason time just absolutely bolts at work), designing, taking calls, answering messages. Shit. When I'm rich, I'll hire someone to do this all for me. Until then, have a to do list;

1. E-mail blenders about costing/ pricing/ packaging (DONE)
2. Call lawyers for settlement
3. Reply to Facebook messages
4. Complete 2 CPD courses
5. Do compounding assessment for PSA
6. Start writing health promotion project.
7. Get familar with NPS medicinewise
8. Make a study plan for ORAL EXAM
9. Finish designs for T-shirts
10. Finish typing clinical interventions
11. Update price for accord (DONE)
12.  Clean room
13. Buy a clothes rack and storage stuff
14. Give the dogs a bath
15. Re-organize documents 
16. Chase up tax return
17.  Blog
18. Go for a fish

As sleep derived and over caffeinated I feel at the present, I just can't help reflecting over my last couple of years after reading a few of my past blog posts.; something I've kind of been addicted to I might add.

To update you guys a little, I just returned from a weekend trip to Sydney; my second trip down there in the past year and a half and my fifth trip overal since then if I remember correctly. It's still a strange feeling, seeing how much I've changed since my younger days. There was a particular post where I described how lonely I felt (well there were many of them) when everyone left for holidays, away from good old Brisbane and when I stayed behind.

These days, as much as I love Brisbane and as much as I feel it more homely than anywhere else on the planet, I love leaving it to see the world to bring back it's memories. In a sense, it makes home more homely. As the saying goes, you really don't miss home until you leave it.

Apart from eating my guts out and enjoying the absolute perfect weather of Sydney, albeit, a little chilly, I came back with more than gifts and memories.

I looked at my reflection one night in Sydney and it made me realise that someone different was looking back. Apart from the obvious chin I apparently have now and the way age has made the skin around my eyes change, the look that looked back at me was strong and full of determination. I felt the feeling of accomplishment and change, which brought back all those memories of hard work, long nights and the endless arguments and hurt I had overcame to see this person looking back.

I relieved the past few years in those minute seconds of the shimmer in the eyes I saw. Not only did I relieve the emotions I felt when I met the love of my life, but I felt the hurt of the best friend who didn't understand me, the pleasure of the very last repetition on the bench press that I could survive and the taste of yummy Portuguese tart I had devoured just minutes before. I relieved it all.

It's true when they say your life flashes in front of you just before you die. Because it felt as if I had been reborn, the person looking back at me was no longer me, I had grown up so much that I couldn't recognise myself. The passion in the eyes I saw was different, the eyes are the gateway into soul and I feel that this soul is no longer a kid.

I am Ly and I have a purpose; I think I may have brought back something scary. But maybe I just hadn't understood my real potential.

Look out world.
Ly is coming.

To.

I've been kind of lost in my own thoughts these past couple of weeks. After the cyclone, water rising and black outs hit early last week, we were off to Melbourne to make up for the down time we missed, having to work pretty much ever since the last time we flew away.

The trip honestly was, not, long enough and I really do mean it. It really wasn't until the final day of the trip that I honestly felt like I was really enjoying it; I mean seriously, once you're sleep deprived with money stresses, university stresses and all other stresses muddling up your mind for the last few months, all I really wanted to do was rest!

When we arrived in Melbourne it was exactly how I remembered it. The weather was absolutely amazing. It was breezy, cool and just refreshing. We began the trip by driving down to Great Ocean Rd. Road works and the weather which turned into less than amazing, delayed our trip by an hour or so (I actually reckon we got lost!) but the drive down, being pretty carefree was none the less awesome.

When we reached the loch ard gord, it was ridiculously cold! We seriously had packed for summer and this weather, trumped even winter! Spending a whole 3 minutes outside of the car where we ran to the gord, took 3 photos and ran back, we headed to the 12 apostles.

The view was again, absolutely breathtaking, just as breathtaking as the first time we visited. It's just one of those views where you cannot get bored of. More than a few photos were taken and back into the car we got to trek to Apollo bay, our first stop off before the shopping began.

I miss New Zealand. I say this because Apollo bay was exactly like it! Much like Dunedin anyway. We settled into the 2 bedroom loft which we will definitely be visiting again. Even found some inspiration for our own home, it was a gorgeous little place to stay. But the gorgeousness did not settle until we walked briskly down to town to find dinner. At 8 o'clock with the sun just setting (it was daylight savings down there at the time), I noticed that the rolling hills and mountains which lined this little small city, the sounds of the waves (which were probably from New Zealand) crashing into the shore and the smell and feel of the air which all reminded me of the senses I had felt in Dunedin.

Walking the streets of this small modest town was a good relaxing way to start our trip. From the bite of the Cray fish papedelle at La Bimba (I keep calling it La Bimbo) to the early morning walk onto the beach which faced an absolutely endless sea, and the drive up along the most southerly coast of mainland Australia, it is an experience I believe will push me to seek many more experiences like these.

I love being alive.

It’s been nearly two days without power and the only real thing that has really gotten to me is the heat. The awful, humid, sweat sticking heat! It’s only the sweat that has dried up and cooled down on the side of my pillow which keeps me slightly sane, having it be a few degrees cooler.

I’ve been addicted to sons of anarchy these past few days. I actually had the whole of season one a few months back but pre-reg and all it’s happenings have made me unable to watch it. My opinion on how the series is at the moment seems to be skewed, since other than watching a few episodes of SOA, limited by how long I’ve got left on my battery, there isn’t much else I can do that doesn’t require power.

I had high hopes for today, was planning on make a photo project (what I was supposed to do yesterday) but I think it’s a lot more to do with motivation and inspiration rather than just going out and doing a project in this particular sense. I did plan to read a bit more, write a bit more and maybe even do a sketch or two but other than the reading part, the latter also requires a bit of inspiration.

I quite enjoy this chillness at the moment. Sitting in the back porch, dogs by my side and the noise of lawn mowers a few houses away, maybe a little inspiration has sparked a little of my imagination.

Off to do something.

So the weather that woke me up this morning was something out of an apocalyptic movie, the following day that is. The terrible winds, the mugginess in the air and the wetness of everything was a memory of yesterday, when my morning eyes opened. Blue skies, very blue, calm, and that smell that puts a spring in your step.

Despite this, last nights sleep was less than re-engergising, sleeping in sweat with the only tool of solace, an airconditioning stick which was waved relentlessly until the missus arms got tired, no spring in my step was added from this absolutely amazing weather

The calmness has now become a problem, as with no wind brings no kind of circulation what so ever. I’ve been b-roasting, body roasting in this oven of a room and it is only until now that the wind has kind of picked up. Time to go out and sit for a while, let my juices settle

Now that I’ve cleaned up the roominess, tidied up all my papers and categorized them all into folders, I’m left here with 4 hours and 19 minutes left on my laptop (4 hours and 18 minutes now), trying to squeeze in some blogging before I get bored and find something else to do.

I’ve always found it a weird happening when there isn’t any power. I feel that society just can’t cope (me) with not having power just available whenever we require it. If power were normal, I probably would be sleeping. Wouldn’t be doing much else to be honest but with knowledge that it ‘is’ out, all I want to do is watch tv, play games, and surf the internet. Sigh….always wanting the things that we cannot have.

It feels awfully quiet around, especially on a Monday but then again, we are technically on a public holiday due to Australia day lying on a weekend (good country isn’t it?!) but still, the sounds of an Australia day holiday just doesn’t seem right, with little noise other than the wind rustling whatever leaves there are left.

To be honest, it really isn’t all that quiet. I made use of the 5 dollar speakers Thuy bought for me from typo, the cardboard ones that you have to fold up. Lucky for me, I charged my ipod all night last night so at least I’ve have the sounds of Maroon blasting ever so softly for however long my ipod battery lasts.

Until then, I better find something more productive to do. Might even go out and enjoy the scenery that is my house. I miss this.

It’s now my turn to have no power with all this chaos going on about the repeat of the 2011 floods. Holy doodle, it hasn’t stopped raining until now and by raining, I mean absolutely pouring, windy rain!

Driving has been such a hassle with the tegs but my hair seems to dry a lot quicker with the heater on full blast in hope that my car doesn’t fog up in all it’s non-airconditioner goodness. Even driving the missus car this morning after dropping her off to work has been excitingly scary, with ridiculous winds blowing the black beast side to side as if I were in a boat.

The usual spots that we suspected would be under were pretty much there. JB hi fi the once WOW, over at oxley is pretty close, supercheap auto is there. Roads all along the scary area on the way to Inala have been sanctioned off by police, probably the reason why the little lake we went fishing in a few years back had all that brackish in there.

But the ‘big wet’ (seems like what everyone is calling it) has slowly moved on to the south and the winds from the numerous tornados up north are slowing down. Everything  feels, calm. Calmer.

As I sign on for the last time, put a frustrated man in an arm bar for the last time, and stack the radios in the office leaving the remaining two or three scattered on the bench beside it, I walk away from the Calamvale hotel as a security officer, for the last time ever.

I feel kind of like I miss it already. My letter of resignation I sent over to the big bosses a few weeks ago really did cement my words to actions. Having put so much of my life into being a good guard, I was rewarded with not only a position as security supervisor, I found a big bunch of life long mates and most importantly, learned so many things along the way.

Why I left security, because I wanted to. I have reached a stage in my life where I am able to make choices much more easier than before. May it be a better financial situation I have been put in, or may it be that my view in life is a little less cloudy; the decision I made to resign from security was solely because I could.

Other reasons could also include having a free Friday where I can sleep a little earlier which would lead to me waking a little more refreshed on the Saturday, or that I would no longer need to exert myself physically to fulfill my employment, or that I would no longer need to soak my blood stained shirts after the majority of my Friday shifts.

But they are all simple reasons anyone could make to quit a job. I really believed that I had reached a level where it turned exponentially harder to gain the next. I’ve told the missus a few things before, if you are always hungry, you will never be full.

As I sit here in the kitchen of the sixer, finished the chores for the morning, 2 hours early, I wonder if I’m in the same position as I was before resigning security. All my life I believe that I have always exceeded the level of my expected job description. Overconfident, cocky maybe but I honestly believe that if you don’t know your own true worth, whom else can judge that?

 Bye for now.

So what am I to achieve this year. What am I to tick off at the end of 2013. The missus remided me of how important to do lists were. Although my habits of writing a to do list have kind of settled, may the reason being that they have seriously been taking up more of my time rather than making life more efficient, I do miss making them. It is kind of a strange satisfaction being able to cross of goals and things to do once you complete them (or not) so I've decided to do one.

My to do list for 2013.

1. 90kg
2. Get through internship
3. Sell the accord
4. Sell the integra
5. Buy a new car
6. Be debt free
7. Buy mums house
8. Work on business
9. Be happier.
10. Travel overseas.

10 goals, 12 months less 18 days.

Lets go, lets get it (thanks David so).

How is life as an intern. I graduated, did all the fancy stuff and now, two months into internship, I've only just really realised that I actually am an intern. It's a strange feeling coming to grasps with reality that university has led me to a professional career. I can actually call myself a professional, even though I dressed like one, acted like one and even pretended to be one for a few months prior.

It's just a feeling you know what I mean. Internship has been tough, really tough. All my plans to make intership year a year to do absolutely everything and anything I wanted, kind of surpassed me when I was bombarded with the responsibilities.

As an intern I was responsible for all webster related issues. That included enquries, changes, set ups, deletions, script chasings and doctor interaction, anything and everything having to do with webster patients, I was the man. The goals set out for me, although I believe are achievable (because I strive to accomplish them), will definitely challenge me, and has.

A month into taking over these webster duties, I was demoted (my role as an intership changing would be more appropriate) from webstering. I have to admit it was a massive weight off of my shoulders, when the boss realised that it was probably more appropriate to have the intern deal with the regular duties a pharmacists' is to perform as eventually we will all become one. I now look over the webster duties instead of packing them, leaving more time to learn everything else there is involved with being a pharmacist.

I've learnt how to close a claim, deal with manufacturers, order critical items from pfizer to avoid delivery fees and everything else in between. I even talked to Tim Logan, the president of the Queensland branch of the Pharmacy Guild! He made me shit my pants, the real Tim Logan. I seeked advice from him regarding the marketting regulations of famciclovir, a newly rescheduled medication, blah blah blah. All interesting to me but you all probably don't want to hear me blabber on about it :)

But I will blabber one last thing and that is, I'm absolutely loving it. Life as a pharmacist (intern) and life outside of university is a great one. Maybe it's the second Rekorderlig that's talking but hey, when was the last time I had a drink? Be it the free time I've got on a Thursday night where I can relax, sit back and enjoy one with my new favourite cold one, or I've been so stressed and rung out that I need a cold one to lax out, I'm feeling carefree more often which is a good thing.

Talk soon.

And then started. Happy New Year everyone.

The year ended eating pizza with the missus and falling asleep while playing scramble with friends. It has been an amazing year spent with amazing people!

It's difficult to summarize all that has happened this year as it was such a massive one. The first accomplishments I feel that stood out most were probably completing the Bridge to Brisbane, graduating university, starting full-time work and closing parts of my life off.

The year definitely was not an easy one. But it seems as though this has made it so much more worth while.

2013 will be another one to remember! 

Farout! Christmas was around the corner, it came, and it went and now it's so far away, I'm counting down till the next one (mind you, it's only been a week or so since Christmas but still!).

We prepared long and hard for Christmas, well prepared better than all those other years but it still didn't ready us for hectic-ness. I hate the Christmas crowds, the 8 or so carols that were on repeat at the drug dealers and everything else that comes with Christmas! Not really. Don't take me for such a sad guy, I love how Christmas brings people together, but that's it!

It was difficult to get in the shopping for the present receivers due to how work has been but we did squeeze in a good few days of crowd squeezing and sore feet. Carindale, Indooropilly and a few of the other big Westies around were frequented, more than I had preferred but it was good to get into the spirit for once.

We had a nice gathering with a few, a few nights before Christmas which was a good change of pace. I've been a sudden alcoholic the passing couple of weeks with few meals without a beer in my hand. The Christmas dinner we had was no different. Big asian santa downed a six pack of crowns and two coronas and happily fell asleep with Mrs Claus a few hours later.

We went out for steak a few days later and after one cider, one and a half steaks at the Morrison hotel, some pre-workout followed by a leg session, I seriously wished we hadn't gone out and paid so much for dinner that I would eventually throw back up.

Holidays have been great. I'm really loving how this year is finishing up.