nothing special

Holy holy doodle. Life is good. Wonderful in fact. It's been too long since I was ever this carefree. For those who still bloody visit this thing (not many), you would have noticed that I finally graduated Goal Number 19; Graduate university.

It seems as though this chapter has finally come to an end. I'm overcome by a really strange feeling, now that uni is all over, it kind of feels like all my hardships have pretty much ceased as well. Maybe it's just that massive weight off of my shoulders, and I really mean, massive; boulder like.

Everything else seems so little compared to how it used to be, and by everything I mean worries about absolutely everything. Life just feels so complete now that all (most) of my blood sweat and tears to complete something that was so difficult for me to do has been achieved. Even though I knew of my grades long before putting on the graduate robe, it didn't really hit me until I was standing in front of mum that I knew I was finally a graduate.

Mum got teary, which made me a little emotional. So much we have sacrificed for mum to tell people that her son graduated from uni and for myself to say 'I'm a graduate bitch'. Ultimately, like I say occasionally, it really is only a piece of paper (one that I've paid alot of money for) and a title but it is what you do with that piece of paper that makes going to university something to be proud of; I mean, if I just wanted to make money, I would of picked up a trade or better yet, work in woolies and saved, they make alot more than intern pharmacists I'll tell you that much.

But none the less, I am proud of myself for finishing. There's no better feeling than doffing to the chancellor, shaking their hand and then pissing off never to return ever again! (I'm actually thinking of going back mind you, but that's another story).

Thank you all for those who read or have read. It is for you that I write these blogs in times of need for expression; I'd probably blab about stuff either way but it does make a difference knowing people want to listen genuinely rather than having to.

Have a Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy Happy new year. 

19. Graduate from University. Completed!

O, Mai Gaaah. I can't believe I actually finished! Well technically, I haven't graduated but all went well with assessment and the hard few years (more than a few) have finally paid off. It's interesting to see how far I've gotten since I first started this blog which began nearing the beginning of my studies. I shared how I dropped out of uni to start it back up again and then shared how life has it's twists and turns and I ended up doing pharmacy.

The journey seems like it only began not so long ago but in noticing the side panel of my blog, it was in 2006 when I started this bloody thing. 2006! That was nearly six years ago! Having a quick browse to see what I was on about all those years ago, it does seem that a little bit of what I used to be has changed. I seemed so carefree regardless of all the problems associated with work, girls and everything in between that I didn't realize it would be the last time I would ever enjoy being young without repercussions.

In saying that though, life really wouldn't be the same if you didn't make mistakes along the way, which I definitely did as you can see from a number of my posts (probably most of them!). I've seen how the mood of my posts have shifted through the years, a lot of sombre feelings but yet, in between the darkness are still those little glimpses of light. Without them, I'm certain I would not have gotten as far as I have.

It kind of feels like the end yet on the other hand, I don't think it's really started. An end to one journey, and to the next step to another. I don't start full-time work until next week so the past two weeks have been all about relaxing. Still working the same old shifts at the sixer and the 'vale with the pharmacy work filling in the gaps but really enjoying the spare time I've got on the days off and any other time I can squeeze out of the day.

TBC.

I've forgotten how much I love Bublé!!!

Man it sucks when you're lazy and bored. I woke up with the best motivation today hoping to do so much with my day.

It pretty much ended after my feed. So much for fasting. I did clean up the mess downstairs after a few months of neglect aswell as the shed out the backyard.

I'm supposed to be finishing up my accord but with this heat, I honestly can't be stuffed driving to the shops to get my tools. I'll do it tomorrow when I'm already out with the missus.

TO DO ACCORD
- Masking tape
- Mask windows
- Sand front and rear bumpers/ side skirts
- Last coat of paint
- Buy a new battery (charge the old one)
- Reassemble
- Sell
- Be rich again. 

After my post earlier in the day, I've managed to get a few things done.

Apparently I don't start my internship yet, well start working at the pharmacy anyway, but I really am not one to complain. There is so much that I've neglected since my attempts to try and pass this final year of study that it seems that the free time I've got at the moment is a godsend.

I can't really remember the last time I mowed the lawn but I did it today. The good old red beetle is still working hard; it scared me a few months back when it wouldn't start but a spark plug change today got her roaring again (chirping). A cleared lawn is a good feeling. Not just the smell of cut grass mixed with the afternoon air fixing up the nostrils, but the feeling of satisfaction seeing the bottom of my backyard after a year or so is a great one.

The dogs gave me quite a fright this afternoon when they decided they'd go on a jog around the paddock. Instead of hanging around the back gate where they usually are, I ended up having to go grab the car keys in a search for them after having a stroll up to number 1 (usually where they are) and not finding them. Having a final search of the paddock I saw two blobs (a yellow and a black one) running relentlessly over where the train track barriers were. Bloody bastards. At least now I know that there aren't any holes in the paddock for them to escape. Still won't be letting them out of my sight for that long ever again though. Stupid dogs.

I took down the gates mum erected when we had a house mates husky here and fixed up the dodgy ass welded gate which broke from it's hinges a few too many years ago. The basketball hoop came down from the front garage and the difficulty getting it down questions me why we had put it up in the first place; Phuccie and I probably shot about 20 hoops, if that, before never ever touching it again.


And I cleaned the teg, and picked up the missus. Day completed. Successful.

Wow! Let me just say in great relief that I can't believe I made it through all that! Exams, a full month of placement, work and all the little bits in between!

Hopefully that is it! My last piece of assessment, forever (lets hope) was completed and presented last Wednesday. Another step I have made in a journey that has only just begun.

There is so much I would like to share, yet so little time for me to sit and remember, at the moment, but I will summarise all that has happened since the last time I posted; this might be just as challenging.

It's been so long that I only just realized that all my pictures linked from facebook have decided to stop working; probably had something to do with facebooks' new terms and conditions, bastards. I'll work hard tonight to fix them up, not for you guys, just to fulfil my obsessive compulsiveness.

• Completed placement of 4 weeks at two different pharmacies; I learned alot from both but most importantly,  I found passion in pharmacy, something I will look forward to in the future.

•  Still working my 3 jobs;

• Gym. Has been good but could be better. My diet on the other hand has been great! My little fasting antics in particular, skipping brekky has definitely helped me drop a few kilos (100.8 --> 94.8) since the end of placement up until today. I really haven't changed anything else other than shifting my eating to the later part of the day. I think I've subconsciously tried to stop eating junk but other than that, it seems to be working? I bought myself a scale so that has been helping me keep on track; I lose about a kilo of water after my 8 hours of slumber (weight myself before I got to bed and first thing in the morning). Strange huh; probably explains why I always wake up covered in sweat!

Is it the end? Barely. But I guess I can't really say that either. I finished my last exam that I will ever have at uni, hopefully, that's if I pass them all. I seriously do hope I did though, it would suck having to wait a whole year to go for it again.

But by barely, I mean there is now a four week placement block to be completed. The first day was pretty relaxed, especially...

Quads! Calves! Everythinggg! Absolutely everything screams in pain at the moment, even while lying here blogging, but the feeling of ecstasy upon crossing that finish line was definitely worth it! I'm not quite sure how I did it but to be real honest, I still can't believe it happened. The 10 kilometer bridge to Brisbane finished as quickly as it started.

We (Ricky, Bondy and I) decided to go for the 10 kilometer some random night out from motivation surfaced from not attempting last years Brisbane to Brisbane. This year, we felt that it wasn't going to happen unless we signed up so we did it, planned to anyways. It wasn't until Ricky signed us up literally two days before, and picked up our running packs the day after that, that reality definitely hit me in the face. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was always keen on doing it someday, just not, that particular day.

With that being said though, we did train for the run. Kind of. Not particularly intense hard training, or the training we thought would of been sufficient, but we did smash out a few cardio sessions. I got a new pair of kicks after an 8 kilometre run in my K-mart volleys after shattering both my knees and ankles. But soon upon beginning my run-in with my new nikes, it felt like being back at square one now with the emphasis on the pain on the arches of my feet. All of the pain slowly began to go away which I reckon had something to do with everything just getting stronger. I did two 6 kilometer sessions at the gym after that but it wasn't until I ran a 3 k-er on the road which put me on my arse. Running on the road was so much harder than running stationary on a treadmill! Everything just wrecked, hams, quads, calves, biceps? But musclular pain could be helped, and I hoped that if my cardiovascular was in check, the pain from the mus-cals could be controlled.

The day came and I was up nice and early. Well, the pumped feeling of actually doing it kept me pretty much up all night anyways (all night was the 4 hours between getting home from work/ Ricky's, to pick up my running pack and 3:30 when I needed to be up). Bondy swung by to pick us up and we were on our way into the early hours of the morning, to a run we've never attempted before.

It was ridiculously cold and while we shared what we had eaten for our pre-run feed (bondy had two kiwi fruits and I raised him four strawberry's), we pretty much arrived at Murarrie; the 4 o'clock traffic was pretty much non-existent (it actually wasn't even pretty much, there was none).

And so it began as soon as we got to parking. Trekking an 800 metres to the start line where THOUSANDS of keen as people lined the street adjacent to the gateway, about to begin as well. The atmosphere was absolutely lively, and I'm assuming the similar 4 o'clock wake up most people had, the liveliness from a caffeine pump was probable?

It's hard to believe that everyone, one day will die. Yes, what a blog starter I know, especially with the number of current events, much closer than they seem; (maybe a reason for my current blogging), but life cannot be without death. Physically, our bodies are made by the earth so it's just eventual that we are returned to it. Like the fundamental laws of science, you just can't create something out of nothing (higgs boson?).

But apart from our carbon atoms dispersing and giving back the energy it took to make us, why is it that it's so hard to accept life as a cycle. Why is life attached with so many emotions, feelings and intangible things which make it so hard for one to let go.

Why with only death, are we reminded of how good someone was, or how someone will be dearly missed. It really would be difficult to imagine not seeing someone you loved or even someone you don't, ever ever again. How hard it would be to be in someone else' shoes to have lost someone; makes me a little pessimistic about why we are even here.

But in life, if anything else apart from giving back to mother nature, should be giving back to the people. A life fulfilled is a life lived to make a difference to others. For all those who have been lost physically, may you forever be alive within those people who stand.

I will strive for a life fulfilled, because for too long, I have taken life for granted.

O, my goodness. I'm so hyped up on the C-feine that I'm having trouble staying focused on the task at hand; that being, my four weeks worth of lectures I need to learn for my mid semesters which so happen to start tomorrow.

It really doesn't help being so bloody cold as well, fingers frozen and being a pretty laxed out day in general. Maybe I should turn off the beats playing in the background but it's my study break (going onto an hour now) so stuff it.

There is a lot coming in the next couple of weeks. Not only have examinations, assignments and uni related what not arrived and still coming soon after that, life seems to be rushing me in these next closing months of the year. Have I been looking forward to it, hells yeah, am I overwhelmed, you bet! Feeling slightly nervous and excited at the same time but I've been waiting for this moment for so long.

Come at me life. I stand ready, pretending to be that is.

It's the end of week 2 of my final semester at university, ever. Being quite surreal is actually an understatement at the moment, I'm trying hard to wake myself up but it just doesn't seem to be working.

doesn't always roar.
sometimes courage is the quite voice at the
end of the day saying
'i will try again tomorrow'.