nothing special

and i even had a fella help me evict some crazy angry old dude. it was a pretty cruisy laxed out night which ended with me driving home in the freezing cold.

i fell alseeep in front of scrubs again and awoke a few hours later. there was a dinner organised for sunday night and i was pretty pumped to finally be free of anything, especially worries, as well as catching up with the few whom were awesomely important to me; remember when i said i missed everyone, even after seeing the few on friday, two days before, i still missed them heaps. after lazing around for another 20 or so, evan rang and wished me my first (verbal) unofficial happy b'day (ray sent me the first *unofficial*, sms the night before) but as well as that, he was heading over to trungs for some pong and he wanted to invite the spin master to join him. i agreed and showed up two hours later after having a slight feed and failing to wash my car seeing that cars were lined up double behind carwash spaces.

it was awesome seeing trung and evan and although i had seen them only a week or so back, it felt as if it were years. nick apppeared out of nowhere and the start of our reunion started there. back in the day stories of our high school crushes and funny topics where trung would always answer with references to tits and ass filled the air with warm nostalgic memories which made tears of laughter, the best kind. finally gaining the power to all leave the table of unimaginable attraction, waiting for trung to get ready, evan, myself and nick waited outside counting the number of times the viet fellas across the road would swear in one sentence.

we headed over my place where i had a quick shower and got ready for dinner. ross, tien and cassie rocked up which was awesome and again, the feeling of a lost puppy finding his owner was felt. tien and cassie gave us an awesome card with a mad gorilla on the front of it and a necklace charm which is awesome! i'm wearing it now atm, its to match the gorillaness everyone apparently associates me with. hahaha, we headed over to oiishii...having being 10 minutes late already, finding parking served to make us arrive at quarter to 7. walking into the restaurant, i was shocked to have seen the beautiful janice, sitting in the middle of the table with a big massive smile on her face and surrounding her, people whom i could of only imagined of being there. sitting there on the seat janice had saved me and waiting, the anticipation of who would come and tap me on the shoulder and wish me happy birthday was something i hadn't experienced in a loong long time, too long for me to even remember.

greets were all through tight handshakes followed by hugs which never meant soo much more meaningful. we all sassed massive amounts of sushi which was delicious and i bet the bill of 20 or so of us would of been quite delicious for the owner as well. old old memories were also resurfaced when i opened janices box to find contained a brand new viewmaster and a stack of cartidges. especially after having a good long chat with her a few weeks back of all those memories which made you smile when your a kid, janice's view master will have to go down as one of the best gifts i've ever received. bondy lifted up a massive box from under the table wrapped in pretty paper which worded "just married". destroying the wrapping paper, the words wii followed by guitar hero made me re-check whether i had read correctly. it was a massive pack with twin guitars; i can't wait for all those all nighters were gonna have with the singstar and buzz crew. it was an awesome pressieeeeee.

after everyone refusing to take my share for the feed, we all headed over to pool at sunnypark and futher headed to southbank qpac after finding that pool was full packed with people with no free tables. by now, a good half of the original 20 were left and we kicked rugby and soccer balls around, like the good old days. we were met by grogen later whom was very different from an hour or so before we had all seen him. he somehow managed to grow a beard and get completely smashed, it was actually some drunk redheaded bum who wanted to play ball with us. phuccie legged it first and we followed 20 minutes later and decided to chill over at our kangaroo point spot.

we took a million photos and it is probably about now where i feel most sad. i said to nick just before, that from all thats happened since a year back up until now, it all seems as though it only takes one day, a day like today, to make all those hard days and nights all worth it. being at the happiest point in my life since a long long time back, the saddness arose from the reasons why i was happy. being there, by my side, the best bunch of people i'll ever meet in my life, sharing memories which binds us so close, nothing can be strong enough to break it. saddened by the fact that old memories will never again be relived, and the thought that with every year passing, and every age growing, the inevitable stretching of those bonds will definately start to show, i know although that's the natural bitch of life, nothing much will be different other than the soon to be wrinkles and saggy skin on the exterior.

i'm much grateful for the nz boys' call this morning which gave me much more than a slight skip in my step. i'm grateful for the warmth of that yum cha that filled my stomach for brekky, the company i had just before class started, the care you gave me with that awesome hoodie with just winter around the corner, the messages of b'day greets both through sms's, phonecalls and facebook. i'm grateful for having you find time to travel long and far to give me something which touched my soul. thank you....

thank you is only the least i can say to describe how grateful i am to have you all as friends.

alright, although it's today where i reach that happy 2-0 number, the events leading up to today are solely responsible for just how awesomely happy i feel. with exams finally ending saturday morning, my high carried on within my sleep where i got a good few in front of the tv with cola by my side. she woke me up like usual, around 4:30 where she always wants to play. after shooing her away, i woke a half later when i realized that i had work and was hoping that it hadn't overslept. waking up seeing that it was 6 on the dot, i felt as though someone above was looking after me as it was exactly time for simpsons. having a teeth brushing, i sat back infront of the tv snugged and enjoyed my first feeel of freedomness since a good few weeks back.

justine popped by an hour or so later which was pretty cool. we got to hang out and catch up, something we haven't done in aaaagges, it was awesome. she wouldn't let me show her my awesome dog party trick but i guess there's always next time. hahaha, after having dinner, rick popped by and we all just youtubed for a bit before having to get ready and head to work.

work at the alex was pretty cool. i was actually looking forward to it especially when i hadn't worked all week. scanner duties were performed first until the super wanted me downstairs to look after the public bar. all things came back to me which reminded me of why i hated that place soo much but i guess the only thing that made it different tonight was probably just how polite everyone was, handshakes and nodds of greet were met in many directions....TBC

my tolerance for caffeine has probably increased from 100mgs to a 250mg dosage; equivalent to my 3 cans of redbull and the no-doz i just popped (i re-read the label from the thai redbulls and they're only able to produce 50mg per serve which isn't tooo flash). but i'm actually feeling alright though ay. the first lecture for physiology was pretty cruisy, especially when most of it was assessed last year in cellular molec but still, there leaves three more to go.

taking a break from study for a little while longer, i just came back from outside to get some much needed fresh air. it's soo stuffy inside here but it's much too cold to open any windows; i'll probably go and open the door in the kitchen just to get some air in here. it was good standing there on the back verandah, hands leaning on the rails which guide down the stairs, watching the moon shine brightly behind a cloudy sky, the slight breeze making my right cheek slightly colder than my left. it felt much like the experience i got from that meditation thing i talked about last night, where your in complete calmness. something i wanted to share.

buble's playing in the background from youtube and as much as it makes me want to jump around the lounge room and sing rockstarringly his lyrics, the orange laboratory manual for medical physiology seems to beam it's mesmerizing powers onto me, penetrating and controlling my own thoughts, i must study, i must study now.

so here we are, at the end of this journey, well the beginning of the final end anyways. got back an hour or so from my break i had with janice, bondy and ray where we met up at sunnybank to have a feed and catch up. it was awesome, having slept for about 5 hours after that exam this morning (which went pretty alright), the most slept i have had in about 5 days, served awesome refreshnesssss.

so day 4 has come, in about 9 hours i'll have an exam that i'm gonna probably fail if i don't start cramming as hard as i can for the last few lectures. i reckon i just got the equivalent of about an hours sleep just then. i felt that i needed to have an hours rest so i decided to use it for sleep. my alarm was set for 12:30 and after tossing and turning in the lounge room i found myself relocated to the middle room of the house, our little study room we made. a 20 flew by and i was still unable to find any speck of sleep so i decided to do what i always do in times of sleep searching...turning to an attempt at meditation; people do say that meditation is high up there for methods of relaxation and you only need a few minutes of it as well.

hands flat facing down beside me, i lied on my back and closed my eyes. i concentrated on my toes first and tensed them as hard as i could and relaxed. i moved up until my eyebrows were the only thing left to be tensed and i did it all over again. a sense of total physical calmness was felt to prepare for the unwinding of the mind. i thought of all i could that was bothering me and assessed each situation and in my mind physically set it aside acknowledging that this is a problem in my life though i will deal with it later. after the last problem was acknowledged, i gathered (in my mind it seemed like each problem was represented by a piece of paper) and put them all into a glass vase enclosed by a large cork stopper. i thought of a place i could store the vase, somewhere i would never remember unless i started looking (i guess symbolizing once you prioritize problems, you only find them when you need to deal with them). i felt completely control yet out of control in a rather unconscious state of well being.

it proved good use, i'm back to cramming my lecture on NSAIDS, Antihistamines and Drug Metabolism...wish me luck!

day 3 of my mid semester cram today and i'm able to cross off maths for ever! i reckon that although last nights cram did serve good purpose, the cheat sheet i created would of even allowed a primary school student to pass. i feel bad now but that's one thing over and done with especially when most of my worries stemed from maths. that's definately one lesson i learnt, don't be complacent ay, i remember my environmental studies lecturer always telling us that. i was depending way too much on previous studies ay. in the end i guess you get what you deserve ay, nothing less and certainly nothing more.

my little sleep i had after the exam made me feel a little groggy especially after the massive meal i had before it. i'm definately gonna try and calm down on the caffeine and eat a bit more reguarly though ay, i feel a slight uncomfortablness in my gut, hopefully i haven't developed some mild stomach ulcer. pharmacology will be top priority today even though it's only 20% compared to physiology. there's just so much to learn for pharm ay, and knowing from the past quizzes, the marks aren't too easy to come by either.

i saw justine today. it was the first ever time i had seen her coming from uni on the goodwill. as a matter of fact, it was probably the first ever time i had seen her at uni. had a little chat there on the middle of the bridge where we both complained about how much uni sucks while dodging bikes as they were hoooning past us (told ya we should of kept to the left). seeing her actually made me miss everyone. locked away in this cave of mine, the only real contact i've made with anyone would of been seeing phuccie and rick for that minute half or so hours. without myspace and my phone, i would of probably been rumoured rotting somewhere in a lake, but even with it, i'm limited to only the few who use that type of communication anyway; janice, tn, cassie. hahaha. but sometimes i like it, especially when you so reguarly see a person and you start to lose the effort in keeping in contact with them. its good to get that message or phone call from someone you haven't talked to in ages and i reckon the sender feels just as happy.

i'm listening to a bit of oldschool lifehouse at the mo cause my horoscope reckons listening to music today will make me enjoy it much more. as a matter of fact, i do actually enjoy it alot more than i usually do. maybe it's because all i've been doing today is hitting the books pretty hard and haven't really found proper time to wind down.

i haven't youtubed hardly as much as i have been, and with the redbull i had this morning the wings it actually gave, carried me above my books all day; i'm being carried by two sets of wings atm. i had dinner with mum today which was pretty cool. i'm not quite sure of the last time we did but today just felt pretty special really ay. we reminisced of the good old days and comforted each other for the future that's to come. it's really tight at the moment, especially with sewing season for shirts slowly coming to a halt and having exams just round the corner, like i've complained before, it's gonna hurt real bad in the few weeks to come.

mum always said stick to it and i've always followed that philosophy. i always dream that tomorrow, from some kind of fate, i'll buy that first ever lottery ticket and win. i could think of a million ways to spend the money but i guess when reality finally catches up to me, would having the money even change a thing? i know i'm a bit over myself, having you know i'm probably the poorest dude out there at the moment but truthfully, other than having the weekly bills paid for what say, a few years, would it really help me and give me the opportunity to concentrate on building myself to become who i ultimately want to be?

sometimes i wish i were in hardships from the start of my life. nothing can be a true lesson unless it bores your mental mind and destroys you physically. something you work long and hard for and come so desperately close to failure everytime. something which puts you in a state of mind everyday of your living life, where succeeding is only comfronted by another opportunity to fail, that, solely is a lesson i'ld rather be taught. i'm not quite sure even if i had all i wanted at the moment that i would be completely satisfied.

so a few hours later, i sit warm and snuggled in the lounge room with a hot cup of milo in my hands. i'm watching futurama now and it seems like both the cold and flu tablets and the thailand red bull i had prior, have pretty much metabolised and are preparing for excretion. the bodies slowly losing it's battle against gravity and the mind wanders much but mostly between whether i'll be able to survive another few days of this or if i fail anything this week i'm stuffed.

i think sleep is probably what i'll do next though only probably after a half or so of more mind wandering, some of which i'll be able to express through this post. i always try to do that though. after a long nights study, its always good to end your night by doing something absolutely non releated to what you had learnt. as well as letting you de-stress a little and keep your mind sharp (i reckon i'ld go more crazy if equations and drug symptoms where going through my mind 24/7) it helps you relax i guess, well i read it somewhere on a forum about sleep.

man, have i gotten that crazy. crazy enough to do an internet search on how to get better sleep. sometimes i really wonder ay, about everything ay. i remember someone telling that the difference between an insane person and a sane person is that they dont' question whether or not they insane. i really hope that's true ay and not the other way around cause i always think i'im going a little loopy. waking life is probably one of my favourite movies and it scares the shit out of me every night i go for those long drives. i've posted before somewhere about being alive when asleep and to comfort myself by making sure i'm alive, i check a clock and make sure it changes. i think just that gives me 'some' reason to think that i've lost it a bit but maybe everyones a little bit like that.

whoa, i really do apoligize for where this rant ended up, i guess when your mind wanders, you really can lose yourself in your thoughts. i'll keep this post to compare myself after the holidays, hopefully my posts don't resemble anything like this one or else i'll definately know that i'm going crazy.

maths was on the agenda today and i've only managed to get through the first lecture before yet again, getting interupted. it was a good interuption though, the sleep served a pretty good 5 hours of rest which i'm really quite unsure how i managed to get. after brushing my teeth for the second time in the day, i continued to work through the dreadful pages of function explanations, limits and continuities which ripped my brain apart with boredom (half the stuff can just be plotted and figured out that way, i don't need the explanations to be honest). hahaha, after a goood shower and a half of tele, i jumped back onto the maths to finish a few questions.

i found myself in the car driving, on my way to sunnybank where i promised to meet up with phuccie and rick for a late night feed over at the sushi train there. it was actually half decent especially since it was 9 but that's probably where the only decent thing in my day began and finished. after having the sniffles for a few hours before, it seemed as though my slight interaction with the outside world has given me the curse of the sneezing plague where i continuously sneezed from outside market square to probably about a few minutes back (i've found that not breathing helps). hopefully the shot of codeine, paracetomol and pseudoephidrine (my pharmacy peers can feel proud for picking out the spelling mistakes) will help rid me of this unbearable pain (slight annoyance).

in getting sick of maths, i've decided to concentrate on studying my pharmacology which has proved to settle my flu to a slight sneeze every few minutes, maybe it's the thought of pharmacology that calms me, maybe a new remedy?

coming to conclusion, i believe that as my symptoms for the flu have resided due to an increase in interaction between student (myself) and pharmocology notes, the use of pharmocology notes can be used to treat symptoms of flu caused by flu symptom stimuli such as maths and the stress brought upon by the inability to study during the semester resulting in cramming of notes a few days before exams.

i think my drugs are talking.

continuing my little rant after coming back from a bit of study, why is it that people (me) cannot commit to a simple few hours of study. i'm not quite sure what's wrong with me but the few hours since my last post, after finishing my physiology catch up, i decided to take a little break and open up my biochem prac book and finish the prac i just completed today which is due next monday. why is it that something (prac) which i would not even start to touch until the day before it's due can be a substitute for much needed study revision for my exams in the next few days. kind of reminds me of that simpsons episode where bart would rather do algebra than start writing about his history paper.





nonetheless, i guess doing my biochem and getting it out of the way gives me more opportunity to work on other study and not havomg to worry about it later on; i reckon i'll be stoked as hit sunday when i realise that i've already completed the prac. my exams start thursday and end on saturday morning, yay. i've still to touch maths, which i'll probably glance over in the next few minutes after this post and pharmacology is really starting to shit me off; not that it's boring or anything, there's just so much workload.



having the next two days off uni is pretty cool though, i reckon i'll have a read around on maths now and start revising for it tomrorow morning doing some questions. i'll probably hit up physiology and have a good read of pharmacology while i'm at it. by wednesday i'll hopefully would of done most of my maths and be able to revise it for my exam. thursday i'll finish off pharmacology and friday night i guess without work i'll be able to study physiology....hopefully it all works out.

waking up just an hour or so back, i've realized that it's that time of the year again where people hide away in their little caves and cram for those finals, wait a minute....

if my mind isn't play tricks on me, to my calculations, it's only probably about april? man, i'm absolutely going crazy with these exams ay, and i don't reckon i'm alone. this 2nd/ 3rrd year of uni definately linearly correlates with stress and difficultly levels ay. i just can't wait till this weeks over so i can go and fish my brains out. i've taken work for both jobs off this week (i'm not quite sure how i'm gonna survive in a few weeks though because of the drop income) but i'm not gonna waste another year with a possiblity of failure in some homogay subject i could of passed if it weren't for work. no chances taken this year ay.

on another thought though, i think the pass happenings at work probably gives me much reason to take a break anyway. none the less, it's in the past, and i guess you ought to expect something of such a degree in this type of industry anyway, don't ya? but it does make you think when high testosterone ridden males have a need to express their egotistical selves to people they think that care in the form of violence which, other than abling to show it in some kind of heroic way, needs a dozen or so more testosterone filled males to "assist" in a cowardly attack on other males of similar feats. You see, the positive feedback loop begins and this my friend, will be hard to stop.

you can get used to having something
you can get used to having that something lost

can you get used to having that lost something back?


strange yeah?

now that that thing is over (tthat shocking attempt of a break we had), it's all back to the worrying and dreadful thought of getting back into it all. the holidays served nothing more than 3 at the most days of freedom, where we ate, pooled and dotaaaadded. i suprised my sister when she found out that even on the holidays i still had work 4 days a week but knowing me, i bet she thought it a gift (i would of probably sat on my arse doing nothing anyway).

these days without uni did serve some purpose, a purpose i only attempted to achieve yeseterday night at about 12 where i gathered all my notes and assignments and crammmmed. the end result led to falling asleep in front of the telly watching family guy. i'm gonna definately stop it ay. not just the fact that cramming when you've got absolutely all the time in the world to work on it but leaving the telly on.

earth hour 2008 which started at 8 o'clock saturday night made me way more appreciative on what we've got for granted. wandering the halls of my house holding a wax dripping candle showed just how.....

i'm always there for you, no matter what; sometimes you've got to do what's right, not what's best for you. stay true.

i'm sad today and im not quite sure why. i'm in one of these moods where the world seems to spin right around my stationary self. it feels as though so much is happening around me that it's gonna take me ages to catch up to it. holidays have pretty much pasted now although they're soo short it doesn't really seem like we're in any kind of break anyway. thursdays today, which leaves me absolutely no other day to do anything i had planned at the start of the break, then again, i've been working pretty hard these past couple of day s.

restaurant has been fairly busy, and i guess i've done my satisfactory hours in fishing. i'm still to put a line in the water tho as fishing these holidays have consisted only by cast net. the place myself and paullie found has been nicknamed the mullet hole as that's pretty much alll you catch there. it's a very peacefull place, taking phuccie up there one arvo, we all sat on the abandoned jetty, the one where you reach after climbing around a fence and walking down an unstable as ramp.

sitting there, soaking wet, waiting for the fish to come back, gave me a sense of peacefulness, if that can be used to describe it. the suns just setting, where the sky gets all cool coloured, and you get that friday arvo feeling after schools fininshed when your young. mullet splashes can be seen and heard all over the place, and looking forward towards the mangroves on the other side, bare weathered jetty posts can be seen, standing as a reminder of it's past.

very peaceful i must say but other than the minute sense of happiness this gave me, the balance of life seems to be tilting slightly to the left for me, towards baaad. it's not all that bad i guess, like everyone, there are good times in your life and bad times in your life, tho it just seems at the moment, all my bad times i've had up until now, well not neccesarily bad, but more, hard times, have all been done for little or no gain at all.

maybe i'm just a little too impatient, im always for the optimist, and really, i'm still true to the saying, if you work hard, there will always be something in return but i just feel like it's just soo much more easier to give up. i guess sometimes you've just gotta keep pulling on that rope until it's finally yours.

i hope after this is all over, i will become a better person.



listening to this makes me feel like a bettter person....it's just amazing.

work's pushed back another half an hour and with a start time of 10 tonight, i sit here watching shrek in the lounge room while cola lies on her back alseep in the corner where she's usually at. although theres a few extra bucks lost, the extra hours before work serves awesomely, giving me time to just relax, chill out, and to be worry free for a couple.

with uni and work, as well as the restaurant opening back up, it's hard to find time to relax these days. thursdays seem to go pretty well with only a tute early morning but the weekends are really the only time where i can feel comfortable not worrying about uni.

tbc

autumn has arrived and the mood in the air dramatically changes from a few days back. it's more a chilled, laxed out feeeling i get now, not just literally, the mind feels a bit more eased back as well.

the significant difference in weather, especially when it's cooler, brings back memories, close and distant for me. i've made many memories which surround these cooler months so whenever the air changes, my life seems to change a little as well.

i feel that i reflect alot when it's cold, i guess your more indoors around this time, all cosied up in a blanket on that couch in front of ya tv. i love being outside during winter tho, the crisp freshness in the air and the smell of the soils and trees leave you refreshed asss.

autumn, i love autumn.


....as my little sister leaves on her journey of many lessons, i sit and hope her the best and that she will be able to take home many wonderful experiences and memories and life lessons this world has got to offer.

me smiling

it was sickness today. waking up to brissies breezy cool mornings always gives me something extra for the day. it was pretty cool, something not seen here in a while but i think it's about time we get a bit less of the sun now that summers just about to be over.

we hit up the moma (museum of modern art for you non-trendy people) today for the andy warhol exhibit which was pretty awesome. seemed like everyone enjoyed it, and with everyone contributing a bit to each warhol display made it just that bit better. like janice said, we prolly would of spent a bit more time appreciating half the stuff if a million school kids weren't there running around but i guess there's always the weekend where we can visit again; it's good to see that the young are getting culturally educated earlier tho.

my favourite would of been the portrait of a man in a ball point pen. all it was was pretty much how you would scribble during that afternoon maths class in highschool, except it was just cool, seeing soo much detail put into the drawing. every individual hair on the mans head was captured by warhol and it's just amazing how such a little sketch which would of taken him a few minutes would of taken me days if even i could draw that well; it was errorless as well mind you..no white-out, i checkedd....

the soup cans were pretty sick, actually seeing that they were real copies from warhol made it a bit more special. the three of us, janice, bondy and myself fought over finding differences between paintings (warhol loved to replicate an image many times, i guess to emphasize his meanings, and change colour arrangments of the replicates). we agreed that the majority of differences were from slight camera movements tho the same couldn't be said when museum downlights changed portrait lighting at different angels.

it was a pretty sick day, bye byes were said when janice left for kelvin grove, we scored free kebabs from timmy who hopefully doesn't get fired now and my physiology prac which lasted for an hour was choice. i'm gonna head over to trungs for a bit of ping pong now. sickness...take care people.

whoa, where do i really start. it's been a very...i'm not quite sure if it's eventful but occupied sounds pretty good so i'll used that. it's been a very occupied past couple of weeks. if i'm not working over at the restaurant, or providing my security services, i'm near the water with my fishing rod and the few mates who share the same passion as me.

catching absolutely nothing to be proud of all these weeks of fishing gives me every reason to dissagree with the phrase "there are plenty of fish in the sea" which is pretty sad knowing i've used the phrase many times to comfort heartbroken mates, hopefully they won't ever read this blog.

christmas this year was another one to remember having thought of having a quiet one with a few turning out to be having a loud and roudy one with alot; singstaring, bbqing mingling and lam and ray beating each other up. it was a good one, the meat was awesome which couldn't of been awesome without the awesome marinators myself and martin and the cooks phuccie, bindi, martin and myself.

TBC.

i completely forgot bout this list ay, lets see what i've actually done ay...

hitting up the great barrier reef
going camping somewhere
starting up and working hard on distributing company
starting to study for pharmacy subjects next year
working hard for a good month
find another job or get extra hours
clean the house
sort out all the useless stuff in the house
sort out the backyard sheds
buy new mower and mow the grass
fix up the boats and sell 2
get boat license
start up ebay shop
go chermside shopping
go hot air ballooning
buy a car
renovate the house
fix up light in the hall way and bindis light downstairs
replace all light bulbs with energy efficient ones
change all tap washers, taps and shower heads to efficient ones
go on the 12 week bondy challenge
get the car serviced
start up the garden
fix up that business plan on twentyfour
begin study on sleep
make a youtube video
make a bb.com video
put up kitchen benches for mum
fix the door knobs and handles for the house
fix up all the fly screens
have at least one bbq

man that's one real shitty effort...hahaha 2 and a bit more months to finish everything

the only thing you can do is laugh..haha

http://nightwulf-theundead.deviantart.com/art/The-Beginning-43785643
The Beginning ... by ~NightWulf-TheUndead

without rice, even the most cleverest wife cannot cook...

just over 2 weeks of freedom and at the moment, i reckon if i had to go back to uni i would be happy. it's been awesome as ay. ever since exams finished and everyones slowly started to settle down a bit; ya know from that feeling after hard cramming where you always feel like you've got to do something.

i can't remember when i stopped blogging but we've done a fair few things since then. got my exam marks back and it looks like i won't be repeating anything next year which i'm pretty stoked about, i had the deep stomach feel while waiting for peter to read out my marks to me over the phone (we were fishing at the time). but yeah, ya feel a bit more free after knowing ya marks ay, it feels like a new start now, the one where you promise yourself that you'll do everything better from this time on; it never really does happen tho.

hmmm, the past 2 weeks have consisted of fishing, watching movies and going to work. justines just bout to get back from dubai, , peter and ming have headed back home and nicks gooooone the usa; man everyones leaving me ay. i found myself a kitchen hand job over at tiens 6 degrees so i'm working over there on the mondays and tuesdays and hit up the clubs on the friday and saturday. i'm sort of getting over the whole security thing tho, just having to deal with idiots. we'll just see how it goes till the start of uni ay, might even find myself a static job in some gatehouse somewhere...fun fun fun.

man, tiens mum and aunt have taught me so much. i feel like a dumbass having to ask them questions with every action i do but i'll be a sick chef hopefully sometime soon. i make the best crocodile and hallumui salad i reckon cause it's specially cooked by the ly. hahaha

but yeah the experience is heaps good, i reckon it's about time for me to learn how to cook as well.

martins been over here a fair bit as well and the fellas have popped by here and there which keeps us all occupied with stuff to do/ or not to do. we mowed the lawn the other day when martin was over; i hadn't mowed it since the start of last year, man, it was more like cutting down treees ay. my lawn mower i bought from kmart for 200 bucks doesn't do the job quick but i guess does get the job done; i swear i'm gonna run this little bugger on high octane fuel, professional racing oil and change the mower blades to chemically sharpened carbon fibre extra light blades, it will become a beast. martin pretty much ended up wipper snipping the whole lot and i mowed over it. we have a sick lawn now.

i've been fishing with the fellas every other day pretty much. paullie, phuccie and i have pretty much travelled the whole of brissie in search for fish. we still haven't found any decent enough to be proud of but its been heaps of fun with heaps of good old memories which we will definately find hard to forget anytime soon.

up until now that's probably all i can really remember but it has been a pretty cool few weeks. ill post up some photos to see if i can remember much else that's happened in the past few weeks. till the next time i post; hopefully tomorrow, take it easy people!

yeaaaaah, 3:24, 2 days from start of exams and i'm pretty stuffeed ay. let me see, ever since my last post, i've upd the dosage of caffeine from that one can or redbull to 2 no dozes and a jug of coffeeeee. i give myself regular lie down sessions and drink plenty of water...i guess if you gotta cram, ya gotta do it sensibly ay (could of been more sensible during the semester by going to lectures and not sleeping in). i guesss what's done is dooone.

i can't fail any of these this term ay....figured out i need at least two 6s and two 5s to get into what i want; my chances are real slim but i still gooot hope. there are 4 exams but the 3 on my mind atm are the consecutive ones which start on the tuesday, anatomy is pretty much sussed out, i've spent alot of my time revising it so i'm pretty confident ay, chemistry is going sorta alright. i finished catching up all my lectures just a few hours back and have beeen relaxing a bit, there doesn't seem to be anything tooo crazy, it's all just concepts but there are a few things which will be stink trying to remember and i reckon i'm gonna get a boo boo trying to study for cellular molecular.

maaaaan, my second no doz isn't going down tooo good for some reason. it's making ma gut feel real....icky ay. hahahaha, we'll just seee in a few minutes whether i get a heart attack or not. i hope not ay. but yeah, i reckon i'm pretty pro at cramming, i promise myself every exam period that i will never cram ever again. i bet everyone does that ay, i just want the holidays to be here finally. after next thursday it's gooone be sweeet, got a few days to study for physiology then even more sleeeep depreviation; i'm hoping to not sleep for another week after that so i can go fishing and do whatever i feeeel like...like cleaning up the shed out the back. yeaaaah, that will turn me on.

only cooool people drink water, do you want to be a loser? rehydrate yourself...stay cooooool

i'm on my first red bull tonight (cut off the v, they reckon it gives ya cancer) and on my 10 minute, (15 now) break from study. i had a goood sleep last night ay, got home earlier than usual cause i got changed to the vale for the saturday shift. it was the a pretty cool shift, having absolutely nothing to do other than talk shit with the super, ross and jodie. i've never seen the nightclub so empty ever!

i'm up to my 2nd lecture now and hoping to finish it all pretty well before 3 tonight, feel like sleeping a bit ay. we had a real choice time at ross's b'day bbq yesterday. had a real mean one over at the park near his place. martin, jimmy, tien ma sis and bondy all chipped in to get him mean gifts; a tacho and shift light for his car, a trd sticker and a car wash kit which i hope he loves.

we got to the park just before ross unloaded his stuff so we helped him set everything up. his sisters rolled the bbq down from the house and people started to arrive. farout everyone came ay! it was a choice as day, i reckon ross had heeaps of fun! happy birthday again brother. after a bit of rugby and having hien slip on concrete giving him a good one on his elbows, we decided to take a break from the insanity of brisies spring weather (it would of been a good 30 i reckon!).

jimmy made an appearance with his boosted civic and ross shat himself after going for a spin with him. after the sun started to ease off, a bit of basketball was played, we cleaned up, a few photos were taken and we all headed home to grab a shower and head for a few games of dota.

it was mean fun, just check out the photos!

*stink...won't let me upload photos!*

Elysabeth N.
I'm just your average girl next door. I've made a promise that I'll always be there for someone I care. I believe no price can be put on the relationship between family and friends. I want to bury a time capsule with my friends, and only to retrieve it once we've succeeded at our dreams...

a good friends blog. she writes of real meaningful stuff, a really good read ay. check it out!

un.Mask.ed I.am

as you can see im a boring person and can't find anything interesting to do so i've composed this list i wish to accomplish over the holidays.

hitting up the great barrier reef
going camping somewhere
starting up and working hard on distributing company
starting to study for pharmacy subjects next year
working hard for a good month
find another job or get extra hours
clean the house
sort out all the useless stuff in the house
sort out the backyard sheds
buy new mower and mow the grass
fix up the boats and sell 2
get boat license
start up ebay shop
go chermside shopping
go hot air ballooning
buy a car
renovate the house
fix up light in the hall way and bindis light downstairs
replace all light bulbs with energy efficient ones
change all tap washers, taps and shower heads to efficient ones
go on the 12 week bondy challenge
get the car serviced
start up the garden
fix up that business plan on twentyfour
begin study on sleep
make a youtube video
make a bb.com video
put up kitchen benches for mum
fix the door knobs and handles for the house
fix up all the fly screens
have at least one bbq

yeah something on the lines of that ay....

today was a moderately productive day. woke up from a refreshing nights sleep (it was awesome sleep actually, i haven't slept that hard for a good few days now) planning to study hard anatomy for the end of years but ended up lazing around yet again for a good few hours. i did find some pretty sick sites which would be choice as to chill at between the mid study breaks (something relaxing as well as keeping your brain stimulated). check out http://www.lifehack.org/ and http://www.kineda.com/ which gives you good read articles and blogs (not better than this of course) and it lets you choose categories of interest which gives advice on pretty much everything ay.

4 hours of browsing (solid effort) and my room smells started to make me feel lightheaded so i decided to get some fresh air until i noticed i hadn't washed cola for about half a year now (ya know it when you touch her fur and like u get that icky sticky dirty feeling). threw her in the bathtub (there's no way else she would get in there!) and washed her down twice ay; the first time i rinsed after soaping her, the water ran down brown! she's all nice and fluffy now, i reckon i did a good job.

after actually accomplishing something productive, i decided to fix mums leaking toilet downstairs. apparently the float valve that was broken fixed itself and somehow i managed to break it again. instead of water dripping because there was too much water, the float valve started leaking cause i cracked it. mum gave me a few, and after, i replaced the whole thing. i reckon i did well ay, never thought i could actually fix anything. i turned off the mains water, released the water pressure by the nearest tap, drained the toilet water, unscrewed the float valve and replaced it with a new and improved one (man luckily after scavenging through dads shed the other day, i found a brand new one), turned back the water main and bam, a professional job...something i reckon i could actually pay for. hahahah! mum was proud.

i've been on my second v now and it's worn off but i'm trying not to go to bed yet. i actually did do some study today but not much to be satisfied with. hahaha. i'm trying a new way to help me get to sleep by spending at least an hour after study doing something relaxing and completely irrelevant to anything i studied. they (some website) reckons ya shouldn't go to sleep right after anything mentally stimulating, i don't know why but i'm gonna try it ay, whatever helps me get better sleep i'm in ay. but yeah, i'm off to find something insteresting to do now. catch ya!

HAHAHAHA! i've always had something where i can flick to or turn on which makes my shitty days feel better. it's usually past photos where fun memories jump back or my favourites playlist on youtube where inspirational or funny videos make me laugh all the way back to happy again. i was cruising around youtube when i found this, a lift plus ad and well, you'll know how happy it will make you feel once you click the video below. hahaha the only kind of laugh which makes you feel good is the one which stops you from breathing.

man, gotta stay motivated! exams are coming and i'm only procrastinating more by posting. gotta do well in this next anatomy practical exam. gotta do well in this next anatomy practical exam!

a few things which have made my days last a bit longer...

playing capture the flag with the boys for 4 hours
parking down the road from a mates house to have an hour long chat
seeing a nick
seeing justine
meeting up with martin to see tien
big angry bosses appreciating my work
a stranger in the city toilets wishing me a "happy monday day"
getting promoted
sitting with the guys afterwork until the sun rises
seeing ming and kerwin
listening to john mayer
blogging more

the feeling of change seems to be lurking just around the corner tonight. i can feel it creeping up on me but although as much as i want to, i just can't seem to embrace it with open arms. that icky sticky feeling is still swirling around in my stomach, (ya know, like that antacid ad on tele). it was a bad day today, well, just not as productive as any other day in the previous week which makes me a bit sad; knowing that every minute means something these days.

i did manage to wake up before my alarm at 7:30 today which was a real good feeling and got some pretty important things done like fixing the dripping bath tap and putting away the tools to an obvious enough place for me to find next time i need to do anyy fixerupering.

today i experienced first hand that persistance again always prevails, fixing the tap today took a mere 5 minutes compared to the first time i tried it for a good few hours and got shocking results. the stupid bell screw last time didn't budge but after a week and coming back to it, sitting there thinking, selecting the right tool and with the correct technique of the the grip, the thing came off like a charm. i reckon me looking at the tap did the job, it got scared ya see.

just finished dinner now and continuing to finish off this post. i'm not quite sure what else there is on my mind but i still feel stink for breaking another promise today tho. hate it when i break promises especially the ones i promise justine. man i feel stink ay but when holidays come round i promise i'll go to soo many meetings u'll get sick of seeing me. hahaha. i gotta go and keep my other promise, the one to study for this last and final quiz for physiology...last prac tomorrow. yeeeeaahhh!

farout, looking over the goals list i don't think i've crossed any out since my first post. i promised myself to cross off 10 goals this year, hopefully i'll be able to in the next few months.

man dis is hard ay....



It's Our Wedding Day Baby by ~momoclax
http://momoclax.deviantart.com/art/It-s-Our-Wedding-Day-Baby-65605748

hard man....i'm aching at the moment. my arse is prolly limiting me from walking properly at the moment. today, i've never felt so much pain in a workout ever. i reckon i've been through a good cycle of emotions and feelings today ay. i woke up tired and sleepy, getting to uni got me into a soulful mood listening to some buble and babyface but the ride there was frustrating as hell, bloody morning traffic, i'm suprised to hear morning radio blasting out of commuters radios tho, i don't think i'ld be able to stand hearing over-caffeinated idiots blabbing on about politics and insanely interesting topics like the most outrageous way to mistakenly pronouce a word...yeah

hahaha but getting to uni i felt a slight bit of worry after discovering and coming to reality the load of work i need to get through before the end of year exams. i felt a sense of completion and ending after re-checking over all my chemistry pracs and cellular molecular biology pracs and a sense of achievement and joyfulness followed while helping out the other boys with theirs.

hungry was probably what i felt next but i'm usually always hungry, i just never really notice it unless i'm starving. satisfaction was felt when that first bite of chicken burger entered my stomach and regret was felt when the last chip was swallowed when my conscious reminded me to never eat that much again.

hahaha, gym left me the most pain i've ever endured in any workout, as said earlier, and i've never felt soo sick ever while sober. looking into the mirror when i turned yellow was pretty cool for a bit until i wanted to throw up the mushed potato and bread in my gut. man, the gatorade bondy gave me made me feel relieved as when the cold sugary substance cooled me down and replenished my glycogen stores. made me feel a million times better, ur a mad dude bondy. '

but yeah, this can go on for years i reckon, the main thing is now i guess and i feel...enlightened...i'm not sure if that's the word for it but i'm feeling blessed ay. that feeling is still lasting ay. i wonder what it is but yeah man, i just had to tell someone. i've already told nick but i want people to read this and feel it ay. it's like...the feeling of walking through a forest lined with beautiful green trees and plants, birds whistling, animals doing their business on a happy sunfilled afternoon but your walking on a path of nails and shards of glass and fireants. by the time you reach the end of the path your dissapointed that such a beautiful thing can have faults but you notice that you have no cuts nor injuries to your feet. it's a bit weird and i thought of it on the spot so it drags but i hope u feel me. hahahahaa.

like...sometimes bad things just aren't always that bad ay. they are there to remind you that nothings always perfect but if you just live it out, its

yeah man, i''ve got abosolutely nothing to do but i feel soo occupied (yeah...that's why i'm blooogging) but yeah so far i've completed everything that needed to be done today. i've washed the car (did it 4:30 this morning cause it's probably about the only time i can do it), slept a good few, did some cardio, fixed my bike, vacuumed the car, cleaned my room, checked my e-mail and facebooked. there's a good hour or so before i have to get ready for work but for some reason todays not like other days where i complain of how lifes too boring or how lifes not boring enough. it's just, good today, i feel as though i'm actually living it now, maybe this is it?



john mayers playing in the background and i'm about to turn off the tube, the lights and set the mood with a little bit of ambient light. there's something in the air today and i think it's something good. everything seems to be going on around me but i feel so comfortable being able to sit here and really chill. there's nothing to it ay. my sisters listening to the tv in her dreams in the lounge room and mums singing in the shower while dinner sits in the kitchen table. there's something going on tonight. it's not a full moon nor is it hot and humid like other days, the winds blowing and i reckon it won't rain like mum said it would tomorrow. why is it that such little detailed things tonight seem to give me so much more joy tonight than it would any other night. why am i noticing.



hahaha, it's strange ay but nothing at the moment seems perfect nor do they seem disastrous but it's just all good ay. ya know i really hope this feeling last for a little while longer ay. i reckon happenings within the past few weeks have taught me some very important life long lessons and shit's finally hit the fan. lesson no.1: don't plan what's going to happen next, nor dwell on what's already happened, just be there when it happens.

hahaha, far, it's heaps stink, i wrote a huge post but lost it when i tried adding pictures and it froze the computer. ohh well, didn't really write about much i don't really remember what it was about anyway.

studying has been sick as lately ay. physiology and anatomy just clicks with me ay, i've devised a new way of learning as well which is alot better than how i used to study. i don't waste time writing out lectures anymore ay. i'm suprised that i'm actually not behind on any lectures knowing that i've stayed home for a few. reading, trying to understand and then making it fun really does work for me ay. hahaha, yeah, i know what you thinking but i don't care, it's just fun ay, i find it heaps interesting ay. sometimes in my spare time i sit there and see how fast i can name all the bones and muscles in the body and then try and beat the time next time round. i reckon that main thing to remember stuff is consolidation, something not many of us do ay. i've probably gone over my lecture notes twice a week now that i don't waste time on writing them out.

hahaha, yeah, still have to read up a bit more tho, i've still got to catch up on cellular molecular biology which isn't on my enjoyable things to do list but i guess ya just gotta do it ay.

work has been as fun as watching eddy drunk. hahaha, it's been awesome ay, i love it at the 'vale and since last week when i was doing the nightclub at the alex, i love it there as well ay. hahaha.

man i'm a facebook addict these days ay, i'm gonna go and jump on it before my timer runs out. between my breaks i set a 10 minute timer, when it runs out i go back to study. far, it's already run out but someone left me a comment. hahahaha! ciao, post next time. fat

whooooohooo! just feeling good today, post when i get back from work!

first time i heard it was on janice's cd but was just sorting out my youtube playlists and came across this video clip. it's deep as ay, made me realise that i've sorta drifted from what i used to believe in, hope you guys feel the same.

yeah, i reckon it was the week just passed which killed me. our show day holiday wasn't too bad, working at the eagle farm races i got to look after an empty taxi rank all day and got paid time and a half doing it. i was able to study all 67 skeletal muscles anterior and posterior we were supposed to learn for physiology which wasn't too bad. got to sign off early to head over to the vic which apart from nearly all getting our heads kicked in early on, twas pretty much as cruisy as the time at the races. thursday was recovery day, getting to catch up on all the sleep of the week till then; bloody still not used to the eight o'clocks ay. spent the night talking to justine cause she was in a procrastinating mood and fell asleep sometime around 3.

hmmm, the weekend was a pretty choice one, well from what i remember anyway. we had a good lunch over at the pinelands sushi place, the three of us boys ate 4 times more than the girls (it was great sushi ay) and phuccie couldn't man up to eatting his green tea icecream. we went window shopping at garbo until we decided to meet up with a few of d block at southbank to watch chuck and larry. awesome movie ay; well if your into gay homo jokes, u'll know what i mean when you see it. hahahahaha.

that's probably about all i really remember clearly of that saturday. we headed home to get dressed for a meet up with some of my security workmates out at the mustang. i pretty much don't remember much between a game of pingpong, a few drinks and finding myself in my lounge room in my underwear...hahahaha; well not really ay, i find it pretty scary ay...

woke up throwing up bucket fulls of black stuff and blood with my tonsil inflammed the size of one of those really huge marbels. hmmm, i'm really not keen on doing that again ay.

the doctor prescribed me some cough medicine, roids and new antibiotics (the last ones i had for the flu gave me the runs).... hahaha, he reckons my immune system was down from the flu and the drinking pretty much knocked me with some virus it wouldn't of cough if i was all strong and healthy. i feel happy taking roids, it makes me get an itch under my skin and gives me euphoric dreams; bloody awesome side effects; except for the itching.

can't wait to sleep, hope i don't see rabbits, butterflies and teddy bears like i did yesternight. good night people!

yeah man, i reckon i'm well enough to say i'm officially unsick; although my amoxillin doses are still continuing and i've been getting the runs a few hours later due to the side effects, i've been able to suppress my coughing to approximately once every 5 or so minutes. did my first gym session since last thursday and it wasn't too shabby; was able to finish a few sets of chest and triceps but it's been no where near the intensity i was hoping to achieve, none the less, it's still good to do some gym than none. i get to work this saturday which is a bummer but i guess it's not too bad, a few more hours of work i guess gives me a couple of bucks to add to savings. can't wait till my races shift for next wednesday. while you youngns are all out having fun at the ekka, i'll be at the races earning double time for standing around looking after drunk people. hahahaha

yeah....hahah martin just called and he wants to play some dota. i'll blog some more later tonight. ciao

yeah im bloody sick and tired of this ay. hate the flu. i reckon that last weight session i had 3 days ago completely wrecked any of my immune system i had left defending this bloody virus. it hasn't been all that bad though; hanging around at home, in bed or on the couch in front of the tv and mum believing that the only way i'm gonna get better is to feed me as much as i can, i reckon it's pretty cool to be sick once in a while (i get my abs exercises done as well with my constant contractions due to chest coughs.)

its not all glitz and glamour though. well i mean your mind starts to wonder and you sort of reflect and think about pretty much everything; well you can't really do too much else (i'm not one of those game playing sicks). some good sick bed ridden reflecting does the mind wonders but i think i'm at the stage where it's doing more harm than good (i've probably passed that staged 2 days ago). far, i hate it when i'm sick. weights, exercise or some good old afternoon staring at the grass in the paddock usually does me good when my minds been wondering too much or when life needs to be slowed down a little but ya know to stop the fat, it must be pretty bad. hahaha

actually, up until now in my post, i've pretty much felt alot better. blogging helped me rethink what i had to blog and i don't think it really is worth typing anymore, it would just be bitching about stuff now that i think about it. hahaha, i guess all i could say is life could be better, but it's good at the moment so i won't complain too much. take it easy people, thanks for hearing me out.

P.S. oi Thuy, i re-read that post, didn't mean it like u thought, hahaha, you think too much sorry if it sounded offensive. fat

i heart you ----\
V

after that little fishing trip, i rested hard till work began early on the wednesday for origin. the blues won *yay*, the maroons won the series *boo* but all in all, the night out at the vic wasn't too bad. thursday was folllowed by a good lazy day out at the muddy where myself and the super played pool and sudoku all night, it was a good bludgy night where good behavioured people sat and stared at pokies machines. friday was cruisy, like every other friday cause i was at the vale. i love the vale! had a cruisy ass 10 o'clock start saturday morning which dragged on untill 6 at the races. the corinda on the other hand was a different story with my super and i wrestling and getting a few guys arrested. bloody drunk people. just why i don't understand?

took the 15minute trip over to the alex from the corinda and evicted a few there. nothing really special ay, the week was pretty much one full of work so didn't really see much of the guys. my little sisters b'day was on the monday, got her a wii and a phone plan which i hope she likes. we chilled out on the tuesday with a few of the boys, about 20 of so ex-state highs which was a good turn up. played a little ball which was awesome and did the old school kfc dinner afterwards. brought back alot of the good times ay; nothing much has changed.

and yeah, it's been a pretty boring holidays so far actually. i've spent a few days just fixing things around the house and cleaning up but that's about it. sent a few of the otago boys e-mails so that was pretty choice, actually trying to keep in contact ay. anyways, i'll try and post later on in the week, i'm stuffed now, just came back from quangies playing a little bit of poker and wii. wii gets ya tired i tell ya. take care people.

yeah, that nrb stuffed me ay. i reckon the marker of the exam is going to shred up my paper after he looks at it. ohh well, it's holidays!

yeah, did the usual dota for a few hours after it cause was way too stuffed to do anything else, had a few late nights before hand to study for the exams. it was good to catch up with a few. we went fishing down over at charlies place for a bit (it was more like driving around than fishing). didn't catch a single thing so jumped over to west end for a bit which was stupid as. the temperature was probably around a low 4 or so and windy as ay. phuccie caught an eel and i caught a stupid catfish. duration stayed = about 8 minutes.

we headed down to thuys at the coast on the wednesday which was pretty fun. didn't do too much other than have a good feed (wasn't too good cause we were all still hungry as), and ross and i played on the computer while the others drank a few and played monopoly and pictionary.
we went home early on the thursday morning and i think i just slepted all day.

that thursday i think i just slept but can't be too sure. had work on the thursday which was heaps fun cause pete and i got to sit around playing sudoku, watching tv and shooting pool all night. it was mean as cause they kept us in till 2:30 as well, good pay for doing not much. hahaha

friday was a pretty fun day. i think we saw janice today, and went to play a bit of bowling with her and he little sis. ross and kerwin were there. (i hate it when i gotta try to remember stuff). had work and it was terrible. well it was good but we had terrible trouble. ripping people apart, grabbing shirts, taking hits; it wasn't too bad, just alot of dickhead drunk dudes who wouldn't leave. 16 evictions i think, 2 physical which isn't nearly that bad. had a good feed afterwards, bought myself a good tub of protein, synergy 5 it's called. gives u an 84% count of protein and probably about 3 percent carbs which is pretty sick for me. its cheap cause it's not a really well known brand but who gives a crap, it's good enough for me.

saturday i worked at sunbar and it was crappy. boring, crappy crowd, crappy venue, not really but it just wasn't my type of place ay. im not too much of a valley or city guy ay, just can't work those places ay.

we went fishing sunday night and brought back a feast. between phuccie, paullie and i we brought home eskys and buckets of 20 bream all up, measuring probably at around the half kilo to 700 grams each. it was sick as. kerwin and ricky didn't have too much luck although kerwin did bring up an undersized mangrove jack. ricky never got to reel in his line with a sinker and hook still attached.