nothing special

Holy holy doodle. Life is good. Wonderful in fact. It's been too long since I was ever this carefree. For those who still bloody visit this thing (not many), you would have noticed that I finally graduated Goal Number 19; Graduate university.

It seems as though this chapter has finally come to an end. I'm overcome by a really strange feeling, now that uni is all over, it kind of feels like all my hardships have pretty much ceased as well. Maybe it's just that massive weight off of my shoulders, and I really mean, massive; boulder like.

Everything else seems so little compared to how it used to be, and by everything I mean worries about absolutely everything. Life just feels so complete now that all (most) of my blood sweat and tears to complete something that was so difficult for me to do has been achieved. Even though I knew of my grades long before putting on the graduate robe, it didn't really hit me until I was standing in front of mum that I knew I was finally a graduate.

Mum got teary, which made me a little emotional. So much we have sacrificed for mum to tell people that her son graduated from uni and for myself to say 'I'm a graduate bitch'. Ultimately, like I say occasionally, it really is only a piece of paper (one that I've paid alot of money for) and a title but it is what you do with that piece of paper that makes going to university something to be proud of; I mean, if I just wanted to make money, I would of picked up a trade or better yet, work in woolies and saved, they make alot more than intern pharmacists I'll tell you that much.

But none the less, I am proud of myself for finishing. There's no better feeling than doffing to the chancellor, shaking their hand and then pissing off never to return ever again! (I'm actually thinking of going back mind you, but that's another story).

Thank you all for those who read or have read. It is for you that I write these blogs in times of need for expression; I'd probably blab about stuff either way but it does make a difference knowing people want to listen genuinely rather than having to.

Have a Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy Happy new year. 

19. Graduate from University. Completed!

O, Mai Gaaah. I can't believe I actually finished! Well technically, I haven't graduated but all went well with assessment and the hard few years (more than a few) have finally paid off. It's interesting to see how far I've gotten since I first started this blog which began nearing the beginning of my studies. I shared how I dropped out of uni to start it back up again and then shared how life has it's twists and turns and I ended up doing pharmacy.

The journey seems like it only began not so long ago but in noticing the side panel of my blog, it was in 2006 when I started this bloody thing. 2006! That was nearly six years ago! Having a quick browse to see what I was on about all those years ago, it does seem that a little bit of what I used to be has changed. I seemed so carefree regardless of all the problems associated with work, girls and everything in between that I didn't realize it would be the last time I would ever enjoy being young without repercussions.

In saying that though, life really wouldn't be the same if you didn't make mistakes along the way, which I definitely did as you can see from a number of my posts (probably most of them!). I've seen how the mood of my posts have shifted through the years, a lot of sombre feelings but yet, in between the darkness are still those little glimpses of light. Without them, I'm certain I would not have gotten as far as I have.

It kind of feels like the end yet on the other hand, I don't think it's really started. An end to one journey, and to the next step to another. I don't start full-time work until next week so the past two weeks have been all about relaxing. Still working the same old shifts at the sixer and the 'vale with the pharmacy work filling in the gaps but really enjoying the spare time I've got on the days off and any other time I can squeeze out of the day.

TBC.

I've forgotten how much I love Bublé!!!

Man it sucks when you're lazy and bored. I woke up with the best motivation today hoping to do so much with my day.

It pretty much ended after my feed. So much for fasting. I did clean up the mess downstairs after a few months of neglect aswell as the shed out the backyard.

I'm supposed to be finishing up my accord but with this heat, I honestly can't be stuffed driving to the shops to get my tools. I'll do it tomorrow when I'm already out with the missus.

TO DO ACCORD
- Masking tape
- Mask windows
- Sand front and rear bumpers/ side skirts
- Last coat of paint
- Buy a new battery (charge the old one)
- Reassemble
- Sell
- Be rich again. 

After my post earlier in the day, I've managed to get a few things done.

Apparently I don't start my internship yet, well start working at the pharmacy anyway, but I really am not one to complain. There is so much that I've neglected since my attempts to try and pass this final year of study that it seems that the free time I've got at the moment is a godsend.

I can't really remember the last time I mowed the lawn but I did it today. The good old red beetle is still working hard; it scared me a few months back when it wouldn't start but a spark plug change today got her roaring again (chirping). A cleared lawn is a good feeling. Not just the smell of cut grass mixed with the afternoon air fixing up the nostrils, but the feeling of satisfaction seeing the bottom of my backyard after a year or so is a great one.

The dogs gave me quite a fright this afternoon when they decided they'd go on a jog around the paddock. Instead of hanging around the back gate where they usually are, I ended up having to go grab the car keys in a search for them after having a stroll up to number 1 (usually where they are) and not finding them. Having a final search of the paddock I saw two blobs (a yellow and a black one) running relentlessly over where the train track barriers were. Bloody bastards. At least now I know that there aren't any holes in the paddock for them to escape. Still won't be letting them out of my sight for that long ever again though. Stupid dogs.

I took down the gates mum erected when we had a house mates husky here and fixed up the dodgy ass welded gate which broke from it's hinges a few too many years ago. The basketball hoop came down from the front garage and the difficulty getting it down questions me why we had put it up in the first place; Phuccie and I probably shot about 20 hoops, if that, before never ever touching it again.


And I cleaned the teg, and picked up the missus. Day completed. Successful.

Wow! Let me just say in great relief that I can't believe I made it through all that! Exams, a full month of placement, work and all the little bits in between!

Hopefully that is it! My last piece of assessment, forever (lets hope) was completed and presented last Wednesday. Another step I have made in a journey that has only just begun.

There is so much I would like to share, yet so little time for me to sit and remember, at the moment, but I will summarise all that has happened since the last time I posted; this might be just as challenging.

It's been so long that I only just realized that all my pictures linked from facebook have decided to stop working; probably had something to do with facebooks' new terms and conditions, bastards. I'll work hard tonight to fix them up, not for you guys, just to fulfil my obsessive compulsiveness.

• Completed placement of 4 weeks at two different pharmacies; I learned alot from both but most importantly,  I found passion in pharmacy, something I will look forward to in the future.

•  Still working my 3 jobs;

• Gym. Has been good but could be better. My diet on the other hand has been great! My little fasting antics in particular, skipping brekky has definitely helped me drop a few kilos (100.8 --> 94.8) since the end of placement up until today. I really haven't changed anything else other than shifting my eating to the later part of the day. I think I've subconsciously tried to stop eating junk but other than that, it seems to be working? I bought myself a scale so that has been helping me keep on track; I lose about a kilo of water after my 8 hours of slumber (weight myself before I got to bed and first thing in the morning). Strange huh; probably explains why I always wake up covered in sweat!

Is it the end? Barely. But I guess I can't really say that either. I finished my last exam that I will ever have at uni, hopefully, that's if I pass them all. I seriously do hope I did though, it would suck having to wait a whole year to go for it again.

But by barely, I mean there is now a four week placement block to be completed. The first day was pretty relaxed, especially...

Quads! Calves! Everythinggg! Absolutely everything screams in pain at the moment, even while lying here blogging, but the feeling of ecstasy upon crossing that finish line was definitely worth it! I'm not quite sure how I did it but to be real honest, I still can't believe it happened. The 10 kilometer bridge to Brisbane finished as quickly as it started.

We (Ricky, Bondy and I) decided to go for the 10 kilometer some random night out from motivation surfaced from not attempting last years Brisbane to Brisbane. This year, we felt that it wasn't going to happen unless we signed up so we did it, planned to anyways. It wasn't until Ricky signed us up literally two days before, and picked up our running packs the day after that, that reality definitely hit me in the face. I mean, don't get me wrong, I was always keen on doing it someday, just not, that particular day.

With that being said though, we did train for the run. Kind of. Not particularly intense hard training, or the training we thought would of been sufficient, but we did smash out a few cardio sessions. I got a new pair of kicks after an 8 kilometre run in my K-mart volleys after shattering both my knees and ankles. But soon upon beginning my run-in with my new nikes, it felt like being back at square one now with the emphasis on the pain on the arches of my feet. All of the pain slowly began to go away which I reckon had something to do with everything just getting stronger. I did two 6 kilometer sessions at the gym after that but it wasn't until I ran a 3 k-er on the road which put me on my arse. Running on the road was so much harder than running stationary on a treadmill! Everything just wrecked, hams, quads, calves, biceps? But musclular pain could be helped, and I hoped that if my cardiovascular was in check, the pain from the mus-cals could be controlled.

The day came and I was up nice and early. Well, the pumped feeling of actually doing it kept me pretty much up all night anyways (all night was the 4 hours between getting home from work/ Ricky's, to pick up my running pack and 3:30 when I needed to be up). Bondy swung by to pick us up and we were on our way into the early hours of the morning, to a run we've never attempted before.

It was ridiculously cold and while we shared what we had eaten for our pre-run feed (bondy had two kiwi fruits and I raised him four strawberry's), we pretty much arrived at Murarrie; the 4 o'clock traffic was pretty much non-existent (it actually wasn't even pretty much, there was none).

And so it began as soon as we got to parking. Trekking an 800 metres to the start line where THOUSANDS of keen as people lined the street adjacent to the gateway, about to begin as well. The atmosphere was absolutely lively, and I'm assuming the similar 4 o'clock wake up most people had, the liveliness from a caffeine pump was probable?

It's hard to believe that everyone, one day will die. Yes, what a blog starter I know, especially with the number of current events, much closer than they seem; (maybe a reason for my current blogging), but life cannot be without death. Physically, our bodies are made by the earth so it's just eventual that we are returned to it. Like the fundamental laws of science, you just can't create something out of nothing (higgs boson?).

But apart from our carbon atoms dispersing and giving back the energy it took to make us, why is it that it's so hard to accept life as a cycle. Why is life attached with so many emotions, feelings and intangible things which make it so hard for one to let go.

Why with only death, are we reminded of how good someone was, or how someone will be dearly missed. It really would be difficult to imagine not seeing someone you loved or even someone you don't, ever ever again. How hard it would be to be in someone else' shoes to have lost someone; makes me a little pessimistic about why we are even here.

But in life, if anything else apart from giving back to mother nature, should be giving back to the people. A life fulfilled is a life lived to make a difference to others. For all those who have been lost physically, may you forever be alive within those people who stand.

I will strive for a life fulfilled, because for too long, I have taken life for granted.

O, my goodness. I'm so hyped up on the C-feine that I'm having trouble staying focused on the task at hand; that being, my four weeks worth of lectures I need to learn for my mid semesters which so happen to start tomorrow.

It really doesn't help being so bloody cold as well, fingers frozen and being a pretty laxed out day in general. Maybe I should turn off the beats playing in the background but it's my study break (going onto an hour now) so stuff it.

There is a lot coming in the next couple of weeks. Not only have examinations, assignments and uni related what not arrived and still coming soon after that, life seems to be rushing me in these next closing months of the year. Have I been looking forward to it, hells yeah, am I overwhelmed, you bet! Feeling slightly nervous and excited at the same time but I've been waiting for this moment for so long.

Come at me life. I stand ready, pretending to be that is.

It's the end of week 2 of my final semester at university, ever. Being quite surreal is actually an understatement at the moment, I'm trying hard to wake myself up but it just doesn't seem to be working.

doesn't always roar.
sometimes courage is the quite voice at the
end of the day saying
'i will try again tomorrow'.

to melbourne. I'm going to melbourne. I'm going to eeeeeat all day, and then I'll sleeeeep all night.

*Sings in tune of Eddy Murphy during Ice-cream scene

Check it out! My first edited picture! Which is better.
Hint. The second one!

Well did I work my ass off? I sure hope I did because if that wasn't one of the hardest months I've had, I sure hope I can take what else there is to come. So alright, it wasn't actually that terribly hard, just a little lack of sleep here and there, I mean you only really need 6 hours a night anyway right; there are still 18 hours left of whatever else you please?

I got away with 6 most nights of the week but the weekends really did test my strength. I didn't really get off my feet  starting on Friday morning at 7 until the midnight of Saturday. Placement then to the restaurant, then to security, then to the restaurant and then gym. I see where you're getting at and I agree, why not just skip gym and close those seekers for a little of those ponies. Honestly, I really don't know, but I never did skip one gym session the whole month or so I was on placement.

It just seemed easier and easier to get through my days as the days progressed along the weeks. 8 hour days just didn't seem as long by the end of the four week period, dude, even the 40 or so hours of work those weekends didn't phase me much by the end of it. I guess what the whole experience taught me was if it needs to be done, regardless of the situation, one foot over the next gets you one step closer to your goal, or in my case, completion.

I'll tell you now, I definitely am not as productive now, on holidays, with days to do all the things I planned to do, compared to when I was living the placement life. But hard work pays off and I do stand by that, so much more than I did before starting placement. Don't get me wrong, I have always been a hard work pays off type of guy but in this instance, I really did have a smidgen of doubt as to whether or not my hard work would impress anyone at my placement locations. I doubted whether or not my hard work was even acceptable as hard work, unsure if the type of work I would be doing was actually easier for others than myself.

I found it incredibly challenging on my first day to stocktake. I remember wandering the little pharmacy at least a hundred times, and I damn well assure you I'm not exaggerating this value! My brain just didn't function that way, it was incredibly hard to spatially remember where everything was, remembering whether or not it was next to this or that. This tasks should seem simple to me right, considering left handers are all spatially gifted I was thought to believe, but it was difficult, and I'd have to say, one of the most frustrating things I have ever had to do in my life!

www.gymandmotivation.tumblr.com

I'm officially on holidays. Holidays from university that is, but not really considering we have to look for two placement sites to finish off the final chapter of this pharmacy course! We've also got to get started on the large amounts of assessment which we'll be drowning in if we don't get a started on them now.

But I'm enjoying this little free time I have at the moment. Coming off a whole month of work experience at two pharmacies, based around the Inala area, I'd have to admit, it's made me even more motivated in becoming a pharmacist; especially one who is involved with the Vietnamese community.

Being able to speak Vietnamese was definitely an important trait to have working in this area. I mean, how were the Vietnamese patients able haggle with you? Cheap bastards! These two blocks of placement have no doubt shown the real representation of Pharmacy life. I absolutely fell in love with the interaction pharmacy staff have with patients. The abilities we have to change a persons life through supplying medications and correct counselling, I feel is very satisfying. Regardless of the occasional grumpy old patient who I guess can be understandably upset (medical condition/ other reasons?), I feel fulfilled each and every time when I am able to help a patient, even if they didn't seem appreciative.

I met some of the most wonderful and inspiring people on my placement. Patients ranged from those who were done with life and it's negativities, to those who were content regardless of what life brought them. It was these patients which I reflect back on whenever I feel down. The pharmacy teams consisting of pharmacy assistances, dispense technicians, retail managers and not to mention, the pharmacists themselves, all had stories, present happenings, and future beginnings.

It was such a pleasure meeting every single one of these people, an experience that has changed me as a person. It's rare enough finding someone who can change your life, but a whole bunch of people, all of whom have changed the course of my life...I feel very blessed.

But maybe it wasn't the actual people who I met. Maybe it was something else within me, my mindset even, that changed the way I looked at the world. I remember a particular conversation with my missus which discussed an ultimatum. Realistically, I have never worked in a pharmacy and wouldn't know the first thing about working in one; apart from sorting scripts in ascending order and doing bin runs once in a while.

I promised myself that within this full month of placement, I would make myself employable through my hard work. I would learn as much as I could about pharmacy and work my ass off in the process.

TBC

Practically pretty dead both physically and mentally but honestly, haven't been in a better mood.

Money is not on my mind because for at least now, it seems that having alot of it or not much of it (I'm sure you can guess that I have the latter), doesn't really affect me. I'm so tired, I think if I closed them just that little bit longer, I'd probably wake up on Sunday. But I'm fine. I feel great, maybe it's the way I've looked at a particular position and how I've made myself feel which may explain such current content. 'They' do say that with a strong mind, even a weak person can win a war; don't know who said that though...I think I made it up.

Off to work, so glad I'm able to sleep soon. See you all after my slumber.

thus the posts below.

 Fully sick fight.

13:20 - 2 x D - D1: Black in colour with gold colouring on the paws and neck, approximately 10 years of age, skinny build and D2: Red nose, gold/ brown in colour, muscular build, approximately 10 months of age were removed from front yard to back door after an altercation occured when D1 was involved in a verbal altercation with D3 - Black and White colour, approximately 50 kilograms, fluffy in appearance.

D2 in an attempt to remove D1 from the situation, moved in front of D3 and the situation escalated. I physically removed D1 from the front yard in a double handed cuddle lift to back door (3). D1 continued to be verbally abusive however left on foot. I ran back to the front door to assess the situation and D2 and D3 had become very aggressive, nearing physical contact. I removed D2 in a double handed cuddle lift to the garage when D2 resisted and got loose from my hold. In an attempt to restrain D2, I grabbed D2 by the collar to moved him with reasonable force to the back door where himself and D1 both became very aggressive verbally at myself and D3 (4).

Owner of D3 came onto the scene and removed D3 via motor vehicle. D1 and D2 later lapped some water and played with a ball. No further incident occurred.


Levels of force used:
(1) No force used
(2) Little force used
(3) Medium force used
(4) Large force used

It's May already! It really is quite amazing how quickly this year has passed us by. And here I was, talking smack, swearing that I just said that Christmas was just around the corner; it's actually so much closer now!

I hear the breeze moving the solar lights around outside (I just looked outside and they are off at the moment), and that burning smell the trees let off when it's nearly winter. As always, Jason Mraz seems to always find his way through my speakers around this time and winter, as we speak, is nearing, a lot sooner as it seems; it's quite cold already!

The year has already had many ups and downs, and although I had already anticipated it as one I'd remember, not solely due to the good things that happened, bad luck definitely has not dissapointed yet. But the good things have happened and it's bringing me along slowly, taking me much like a boat upon a run out tide, just about to anyway.

I've loaded up on coffee and I've given up on trying to fight the addiction. I'm sorry but without it, it's pretty much all over red rover for me; a term I've picked up again after our lecturer used it to explain a patient suffering from a hemorrhagic stroke. I can't remember the last time I used the term red rover. The coffees made me giddy, I'll need a refill soon.

I have to say, our feasting has in no way ended. With Meet Fresh just opening, we definitely had to give it ago, especially after smashing it in Sydney pretty much every night! Buffet'd our hearts out down at food fantasy after my couple of minutes of fame when I got to "dance" with the jabbawockeez. That was an amazing experience!

When I say Dance, it was more movement/ waddle than anything else. Getting picked from the crowd to help with a part, all I can say is, that although it was absolutely embarrassing and terrifying, it's definitely something I will remember for the rest of my life; they gave me a jabbawockeez mask too! HOW COOL IS THAT!

We've been experimenting a fair bit with the camera these past couple of months. What's really intrigued us is levitation photography. Thuy can't jump and I can't take photos but we've come up with our little own interpretation of the art. Not the best but hopefully we're getting there, albeit slowly.

With a phone.

With an umbrella .

With a sock.

With a tap.

It feels like just yesterday that I was 23, well actually, it was 5 days ago but still, it's gone by quick. Already it's nearly May and Christmas is like, just around the corner. I organized a little bbq with the missus for a few of the guys and girls who were around and it was good to finally relax and not have to be anywhere.

We spent the day down at Burleigh heads eating snags, beef rissoles, catching little crustaceans and becoming bait for more than a few sand-flies. The Missus and Bondy got a few good shots of DaSoom who was their practice model for the day. I guess the entire trip wasn't as unproductive as it sounded. When the night was still young, we decided to call it before the mosquitoes became larger, and headed back home to share some stories at Korean bbq, washed down with some taro milk tea.

The missus took Tien, Cassie and myself out for a feed at Sofitel during the week which was a good change of pace. Brisbane city I have to admit, is actually pretty beautiful. The architecture of the old buildings which tower us on the way to central station tells such an exciting story. It's hard to believe how the road would of been before the neatly arranged pavements under our toes. It reminded me of walking the streets in Melbourne, but hot, it was hot for an Autumn Brisbane morning, actually, Brisbane's pretty hot regardless.

The following week was filled with eating. I felt spoiled as when Christine took me out for some steak. The guys all contemplated on the 1kg rump but as always, Ross pulled out and Bondy was scared of the calories. Not really, I just bitched out, eating 1kg of rump is terrible! Dinner was followed by 3 bowls of soy custard and a little catch up with Martin and Linnie whom we bumped into at the cafe.

For that week up to my birthday, we ate pretty much Brisbane. Hit up Bentos at Sunny Breeze twice (compliments to Ricky), Sakura out in Westend (terrible), Funny Funny, Bazaar at Q1 and Little Taipei for a buy 5 get one free meal (which was shared by myself, Ross and Ricky). We've hit up pies and sausage rolls the size of coke bottles, pan fried dumplings, and coffee, so much coffee I think I've become addicted. Again.

So much for a freaking diet. Thank you all for the love, if only every year were like this!

P.S. Please help me eat this pizza sized biscuit/ cake, compliments of Molomolomolo.

A big massive sigh of relief is let out after finding out the whole semester for my final year is not being assessed. I have to admit, I wanted to jump as high as I could after hearing that news but in not doing so, I've come to realise that the good news is short lived anyway. You see, after failing 3 out of my 4 exams for the mid semester, to come up even close to passing, I've got to do above average for my finals, a fair amount above it...

But you know what, my optimism is back and it's finally summoning my final bout of motivation, put away deep in my soul, something I haven't been able to find in the past couple of months. Maybe my endorphins are high after taking a bunch of painkillers for my wisdoms or it could be from the insane chest workout I just completed with Ricky, but endorphins talking or not, I'm serious.

Seriously sick of wondering whether or not I passed an exam. Seriously sick of stressing out before an exam because I didn't study enough. And seriously sick of not wanting it enough to be the best. There comes a time in life where just passing and just getting by doesn't cut it. I think that time is now.

Time to get started. Relief levels = decreasing. Stress Levels = 1.

F*ck off! Honestly, it's really been something that I haven't been able to control lately. My temper has been absolutely out of control and apart from the rare occasion that it actually isn't, well, that's just the calm before the storm my friends.

Honestly, I haven't been that bad, but to be really honest, I'm getting there. I mean, who would say that they are an angry bastard unless they really did realise it for themselves, then again, I say what's usually on my mind anyway right. But it's true, everything ticks me off these days. From the stresses of university life, and an epic final chapter at that, to wisdom teeth pain, being a poor bastard and with everything else filling in the gaps, it's hard not to feel a little ticked even when the simplest things go wrong.

The beast suddenly started stalling a lot more than usual and even with my money saving techniques (not wasting 100 bucks on fuel a week by refueling every 150 kilometers at 160+ cents a litre), it shorted me 100 kilometers of what I usually got on a tank. Investigating the problem led me to buy a fuel filter which was wrong the first time, didn't fit the second time and upon fitting it anyway, I lost my banjo bolt in the engine. After an hour or so of trying to get the bolt, I headed over to Supercheap to find that I had to get it directly from Honda. How the f*ck I was supposed to do that still beats me but I decided to eventually try my luck and take it off of the accord (still a work in process I might add) and it fit (thank f*ck!). Not long after though, when it rounded off the new fuel filter which left me back at square one, I chucked the old one back on and threw the other one as hard as could, somewhere.

The other day after a whole year or so of parking at the same spot to get to uni, I parked a whole 10 meters closer and got chopped with a 75 dollar fine. Mother f*cker, if I had to throw away 75 dollars, at least be it in 75 dollars worth of streamers or balloons or even anything, at least it could of been a pretty photo or something.

Today I tried to disconnect my Ipod from my car and the prongs on the cable prevented it from coming off. That pissed me off. 

My girlfriend made me promise to be a little more patient with the little things and ensured that it would eventually lead to the bigger things. I think my ranting has actually helped me put things into prospective. It's actually not 'THAT' bad I guess. I did find 10 bucks though which made me happy. 

We went into a restaurant today for their lunch special because we were feeling cheap. Lunch wasn't available after 8pm. Can't f*cking walk out 'now' can we.

Random mumblings and sleepy speak, you have been warned.
'Just breathe....' Hello. Thank God we've passed that now. For the past month or so, the only contact that I have had with this blog is pretty much the glimpse I have of it's shortcut on my browser. That pretty much applies with everything else I've tried to be involved in this year, exams came, are coming and pretty much, starts all over again, again.

I have to admit, my results are nothing worthy of bragging and there's a clear indication that if I don't start to pick up my game, I'm going to have to spend another year, doing it all over again. I'm worried. I don't think I'm worried enough.

It's been really good with the shop closing for a couple of weeks. Tien, Cassie and the family are doing a trip back to their homeland (we all came from China somehow right, don't be racist...) Not being at the shop for the Friday night is definitely something I miss, I just need to get rid of the 'vale shift and I'd probably be in heaven, not too much longer to go, only a few more months, just keep telling myself that....

My only priority for these next few weeks will be to knuckle down and study. No way around it. I don't understand why my work ethic for study is just not there. I can force myself to wake up for a Saturday shift at the sixer on less than 4 hours sleep, and I can even drag myself to the gym and give a workout even Arnie would be proud of but to study, I'd just rather sleep. But I'm changing by trying to concentrate on the reward. The end, seeing it, the light.

It gets hard when history doesn't look good but I guess someone who hasn't failed, hasn't really succeeded right? It's time to breathe again before it all comes to an end, a long road ahead before the end that's for sure!

Consider yourself lucky if you have the ability to choose your path.

Damn, definitely got to start soul searching!

Here we are, the start of week 5 and I'm studying for two out of my four mid semesters. Wish me luck. I'll need it.

So we are in full stride at the moment. Mid semesters are just around the corner (next week in fact, so more around the corner than I actually thought) and before you know it, semester 2 will be about to begin.

If anyone told you the final year at uni will be cruisy as shit and over before you know, they are half right. Shits' coming so fast, I'm scared it will be over before I even get started. Lecture attendances have dropped down to about 94 or so percent which is still actually pretty good considering last year was about a 5. I really do thank God that I attended these lectures because if I didn't, I'd probably would of dropped out due to the stress I've felt so far.

Monday 9-1, Tuesday 9-5, Wednesday 9-5 and Thursday 9-4. It really doesn't matter how long the days are, but as you can see, the four days I have at uni all have one thing in common. 9 o'freaking, clock starts! Living pretty much on the shittest side of the southside, if I had the patience to wait for on the bus which leaves Acacia Ridge at 7:40 and takes an hour to get to southbank, I'd be late to every morning class. So I drive, and I park about 3 kilometers away from uni just so I don't get fined 100 bucks for over parking my 2 hour stay.

To get to my car park area, I have to get up before 7, and pack pretty much my life into my bag, (work, gym and my extras if I'm staying with the missus that night), my lunch because I'm a big boy now, make my breaky, have a shower, brush my teeth, do my hair and leave before 8. Thank fuck I have 2 minute showers. If the traffic is bad, I usually have to chuck on some skirllex and power the shit walk to uni or else I'll be that lonely guy that walks into a full theater in the middle of the lecture. I laugh at those guys.

It's a quarter semester crisis. Don't mind me, I'll be back to complain some more.

I've been so stuck these holidays that it's been such a relief to get unstuck,...and stuck into my final year at uni.

I have to admit, it's a little strange saying that with such a positive attitude but given my second chance (third actually) I'm definitely not going to let this slip me by. It absolutely sucks having to sit a supplementary exam on the holidays. Then again, my holidays weren't really too evident with work, gym and all the other things in between them taking my holidays pretty much a long long way away from me. What sucks even more is that I needed to sit one, despite the fact that I received a 65 percent overall (71% after my supplementary exam) and still failed; due to course requirements. But that's all done and passed, sometimes being shit on isn't such a bad thing (sounds like a similar post I made last year?)

Sydney was a great break, as was the couple of days we had for Christmas and New Years but I guess with all the busyness, it's actually prepped me for the start of my forth year uni. Hectic is the only word that is needed to describe it so far. I'm getting kind of flustered with all the due dates, mass amounts of knowledge that we need to cram in and just work, gym, family and girlfriend, all wanting a part of my left over time. I cut work down a day which is going to be incredibly useful, definitely something I'm going to cherish. 9 o'clock starts four days a week, 5 o'clock finishes for three and work till 10:30 for two. Wow.

If someone were going to be able to do this, it definitely isn't going to be me.
It's going to have to be me.
38 hours of work a week, 30+ contact hours a week, 1 week down, 9 more weeks to go!

First of all, Happy Chinese/ Vietnamese New Year to everyone, wishing you all the most prosperous, joyful and healthiest New Year.

That aside now, we recently (seems just yesterday but it was actually more than a week ago) returned from Sydney. It was absolutely amazing! We spent 5 days down there for a real holiday after Christmas passed (once you're in hospitality, you pretty much have holidays after everyone finishes theirs). We were a little short of cash but pulled everything together in the last couple of days with New Year Red pocket which ended up adding to nearly a grand. Wowwers, definitely some good extra cash on goodies we were planning to skip.

The first couple of days in Sydney felt pretty much the same as Melbourne. Crowded streets filled with people and shops. Heaps of shops. Unlike Melbourne, the city is much more spaced out which although killed the legs, gave us some false hope of burning off the calorie laden foods we ate. That being said though, we ate pretty much everything in sight. I mean, to me, a holiday is much more than just getting away. It's about exploring, trying new things, seeing new places, experiencing new experiences and yes, getting fat.

I have never in my life eaten such wonderful foods, foods which would rival the best I'd had in Melbourne if I were to be honestly honest. Deep fried Ice-cream from Holy Basil just beside the Museum train station was absolutely out of this world! The Poached eggs from the Oyster bar which sat on the Harbour with the Sydney Harbour Bridge and Sydney Opera House as the back drop, it's custurdy consistency cannot be described! And to top all of that off, the midnight treats we would venture for, - custard puffs, taro balls, fish balls, funky teas; rock salt cheese green tea...It.Was.Amazing!, and could be found pretty much at any-time of the day/ night.

so I can get away.

2012. A new year, a new beginning, really?